Hi Eagle, I will put this book on my long list of must reads. Gosh, Eagle, I relate to the need to conform to others’ opinions. I came from a family that did not value my opinion, until I turned 50, and now they are all ears. And yes, conforming to others’ opinions while denying our own indeed reduces our ability to see our authentic self. But all is not lost! You can excavate your authentic self, and you’re already on a healing path, which leads to who we really are, and who we are meant to be. You know, we do not enter the world with a sense of NON belonging. We enter the world fully expecting to love and to be loved in return. Something, someone dims our light, and we retreat to the dark because we think we do not belong. The light may be dimmed, but is not extinguished! My first form of self-therapy is baking. I haven’t talked about this before (I think our resident chef is Jaw Jaw: where is she?) Baking is a task I learned as a child. I also learned that a cake or a cookie will always bring pleasure to others, and I had a strong need to please. Baking is also something I know I can do: I can’t fathom a math formula, but I can follow a recipe. So, baking banana bread is the kind of task that nourishes my self, just as gardening can “ground” others who enjoy that past-time. When you are baking, do you feel that you belong in the moment, in that kitchen, baking for your husband and your self? Another good book for determining your authentic self is “Simple Abundance” by Sarah Ban Breachnach.