quote:
Originally posted by unique:
(shortened) this was a quote from our local sheriff (whom I do actually admire, BUT..) he said, "...She waited too long to get out..." stuck around til she got murdered. She was the bloody victim but it pointed the blame back at her like it was her fault she got murdered!! ... to blame her for 'waiting too long' is ridiculous and societies' attitudes will never change as long as people keep blaming the victim.
By saying the "victim stayed in the relationship too long" the sheriff is using the same logic as the female who says her mate "made her do illegal things." The sheriff is saying that the woman "made her killer do illegal things." (i.e. murder her)
The sheriff's statement portrays the murderer the victim rather than the perpetrator just as saying "He makes her do illegal things" makes a female criminal the victim rather than the criminal. If a man commits the crime of abuse, he is a criminal. If a woman commits a crime, unless he 'made her do it' by physically forcing her, she is a criminal.
Situational criminality is far to similar to situational ethics for me. No one is responsible for the morality of an adult except the individual and no one is responsible for a crime but the criminal. It might occasionally be warranted, but the "he/she made me do it" defense is overused in the court system.

I'm sure there are cases where women are physically forced to do illegal things, but I see so many women using the "He made me do it" excuse for knowingly staying with mates or even assisting them in abusing children or dealing in illegal drugs then claiming "He made me do it" when they are caught.
A child can be 'made' to do things, but an adult who knows the difference between right and wrong and is not physically forced is responsible for his or her own actions. An adult who is not physically forced and has evidence that the crime of child abuse or drug dealing is occuring and does not report it aids the criminal. He or she is either complicent in the crime or an accessory.

As to being abused, I do speak from experience. I was abused for a short time by a very physically, intellectually, socially, and emotionally poweful man. Only when I found a counselor who empowered me by refusing to accept my excuses and insisted that no one could "Make" me stay or do anything else except with my permission was I able to escape.
I understand how many women feel that they are helpless victims, and I believe that may be a step toward recovery, but far too many people become trapped in the 'victim' role either conveniently or as a result of benevolence and are never able to fully recover.
I may be the exception, but I was weakened by helplessness. I was empowered by responsibility for my own actions.
I am not a victim.
smile

[ April 08, 2005, 08:37 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]