Dear Eagle, thank you for sharing your experience with God and prayer. I’m sorry to hear that your Dad and Mom died, and with that you lost a sense of connectedness. Dreams are one way of capturing the wisdom of the universe (I guess that’s why Native Americans create and hang “Dream catchers” over their beds.) I experienced a loss of intuition and insight for a while, and thereby could not interpret dreams. I needed the “writing on the wall.” I was so obtuse! I was also prone to self-pity and “why me?” I’ve learned a lot since then, including that I no longer ask God what He can do for me, but what can I do for Him (Him being the broader sense to include all that is creation, including the universe.) Another lesson is accepting the tasks that I am charged with, including being a voice for those confronted with violence, even when I’d rather be an actress accepting an Oscar! Anger is a part of the grieving process, whether we are grieving for a lost love one or the loss of a sense of safety. And “bargaining” is yet another part of that grief process: “If you do this one thing for me God, I promise I will do anything in return.” What you’ve shared about the recollection and reciting of the Lord’s Prayer as a lifeline is so eloquently expressed, and exactly what I was trying to say, too.