I thought I’d have a calm day catching up on e-mail and luxuriating here in the forum. Then the phone rang at 10 a.m., and the day took on a life of its own. It was a newspaper reporter calling, wanting to come interview me this afternoon for a profile piece. I had sent her editor a copy of the book last spring, and nothing came of it. I forgot all about it. But then this reporter, who believes in my message, decided that she wanted to help me promote my book. Isn’t that wild? Not only because she was coming from a place of such generosity, but because the seed was planted months ago and just sprouted this morning.

I love it! It validates my approach to marketing. I visualize my efforts at book promotion as planting seeds. I just keep spreading them as widely as I can. I try not to worry about when—or even if—they’ll pop through the soil. I content myself with knowing that some will take root and others won’t. I do, of course, make an attempt to select fertile ground. Sometimes I even prepare the soil myself. (For example, I spent all last week reading women's magazines, trying to decide which ones would be best for my Mother's Day pitch.) But other than being a teeny bit discriminatory about where I toss them, I just keep spreading my seeds.

Anyway, the phone started ringing off the hook right after the reporter left, and it’s just now that I’m back on-line. I love all the postings that have appeared in my absence!

Speakermom— How cool that you did an interview with Jordan Rich today. He’s got a huge heart, doesn’t he? (Are you aware of all he does for Children’s Hospital in Boston?) Kudos to you for following through on my tip.

As for your comments about being bold, I totally agree. I think it’s bold to be a writer period—to speak our truth "aloud"--not to mention opening ourselves up to public rejection. I love all of JJ’s comments on the topic. It’s important to keep a sense of humor.

Dotsie— How beautifully you articulate the idea of us being perennials.

And, finally, Dianne— That your story mirrors mine makes both sweeter.

Gotta to go eat. Looking forward to hearing more from everyone. Like I said in the beginning, we all have so much to teach one another.

Hi Prill, I haven't posted because I don't have your book yet. I love the title! I want to read about women who stepped out mid life. I too used to be shy. Actually, I think I was not born shy; I think the confines of society, the secrets of trauma, and the dominance of father figures made me shy. So shy that in grammar school I wouldn't raise my hand even when I knew I knew! So shy that as an adolescent I passed on an opportunity to be in a pageant. So shy that as a young homemaker I couldn't bring back a brand new but defective toaster. BUT look at me now! I am so bold that I make my presence as an author known to the press. So bold that I took back a couch with a defective cushion. So bold that if a relationship feels toxic, I can say no thanks. I learned that I never got what I wanted while being shy because I was too shy to ask. Now, I know what I want and I'm bold enough to ask for it. Women are socialized to be passive while men get all the breaks. I say, let's embolden ourselves while the getting is good! Love and Light, Lynn

Prill,
I put your book on my Christmas list and my husband bought it for me. As soon as I finish the book for my older daughter's mother-daughter book club, I'm going to read yours. I'm looking forward to it.

I have a problem promoting myself and networking to benefit myself. I have and do promote others and usually I do it fairly well. But when I try to promote myself, I simply cannot do it.
In a situation where I am face to face with an indivdidual who seems interested in helping me, I feel like a fraud and a user and wind up making enemies or withdrawing from the situation entirely.
I can't seem to get past the feeling that I am using someone to benefit myself.

Any ideas?
smile

Thanks, Misfire. ("If you want to fly, you've got to jump." )

Lynn— Don’t worry about reading the book before posting. It’s not a requirement. No tests or quizzes will be given, I promise. I want anyone and everyone who has something they’d like to add to our discussion to feel comfortable doing so.

You are living proof of what I’ve been saying about the transformative power of being bold. And I suspect I'm not alone in relating to your poignant examples.

You speak of the confines of society, the secrets of trauma, and the dominance of father figures as all contributing to your shyness. Part of why I titled the book Defying Gravity is because I write about women who have freed themselves from the weight of societal expectation, family history, and most importantly, their own ideas of who they are. I didn’t realize until was I deep into the process of writing my book that I was gravitating towards women like this because those three things are the very ones I longed to be freed from myself.

Another thought: I, too, had a dominant father who silenced me. Maybe part of what attracted me to writing is that even though it ultimately becomes a public act, it feels private and safe when I’m doing it.

Hi again, Smile. I didn't see your post when I was replying to Misfire and Lynn. I've got to go to bed now (it's 11:22 p.m. and I need to be up by 6:30 tomorrow morning), but I have lots to say in response to your posting. I presume others have thoughts to share as well. I'll be back at the forum tomorrow, but until then, hope you have sweet dreams.

Hello Prill and all Boomer Chicks,

I've been a bad Boomer Chick lately because I've been so busy I haven't been around much. I sat for awhile this morning reading all these posts. I saw myself in so many of the comments.

Probably the most amazing thing I've read in awhile was this, "“It seems to me that as we spiritually evolve, we become more and more ourselves. More vibrant, more elastic, more feet-on-the-ground, more head-in-the clouds. Like a snake, we shed our old, dry, tight-feeling skins and allow fresher, more colorful selves to emerge. In line with this, the late-blooming women whose stories I've been attracted to aren't those who merely switched careers midlife. To use another metaphor, the women in my book haven't simply tried on a new set of clothes. They've stripped their old garments of fear, self-doubt and self-consciousness and allowed their true beings to be exposed to the light.”

In fact, I'm moved to tears. Something has happened to me lately and I can't explain it. As the ladies here can tell you, I've turned into some sort of self-promoting freak. While this may not seem terribly remarkable, your head would be turned if you knew me. I've spent my life hiding, keeping my head down and my eyes toward the ground.

I'm a new creature at forty and suddenly everything is possible. My new, "more colorful self" is emerging and I love it. I can't wait to see what is in store for the coming year now rather than having my stomach in knots at the thought of getting older.

Maybe it's the estrogen!

Hello Sheri!

So glad you’re back. You say you’re a new creature at forty. Well I’m a new creature at fifty. And like you, suddenly everything seems possible.

Maybe it’s the onset of menopause. (I’m getting used to stripping off my clothes in the middle of the night, and, believe me, I’m not speaking in metaphor!) I don’t know. But I’m more and more shameless each passing day. A few weeks ago I even stood in the front row of the Today Show crowd with a big poster of my book.

Still, I can sympathize with Smile’s reticence to promote herself. At first, I, too, felt exceedingly uncomfortable. (This might be a woman thing.) But I believe in the power of my book, and that belief propels me onward. Who else is going to promote it if not me?

Notice that I said that I’m promoting my book. I’m not promoting myself. I’m spreading the word about something I’m passionate about, that I believe in with all my heart. It’s like pointing to the heavens and saying to a stranger walking by, “Look at that beautiful sunset!”

And, second, who will do this if I don’t? Yes, I have a publicist, a great guy named Howard Cohen that works for my publisher. But he has a stable of other authors, many with books that have come out more recently than mine. He lacks the energy, financial resources and motivation to put his heart and soul into making my book a best seller. But I have all three. Yes, money, to some extent, is an issue for me; but I’ve been networking on the Internet, which is free, and using many of Carolyn Howard-Johnson’s suggestions from “The Frugal Book Promoter.” Even my travels have been self-supporting. I make sure to do enough private events where I sell books at a profit to subsidize the events I do in bookstores where I make no money at all.

But I’m getting away from the underlying issue that Smile brings up, which is essentially a psychological one. I think the shift in consciousness for me came when I realized that promoting my book was an act of self-love.

I’m going out for a few hours, but I’ll expand on this last comment when I return.

Sher, I am so happy that you have found what you are passionate about and have the knowledge, energy, and will to go for it.

Smile, you said...I can't get past the feeling that I am using someone to benefit myself. I think that's admirable, but probably not an asset when it comes to promoting your work. There are many people out there who ONLY care about promoting themselves and that sickens me. I can read their emails and pick up on it immediately.

I know you well enough to share that you have so much love to offer. I would never think you were using me. That's something you have to work on because I can't imagine people would ever perceive you that way. Believe in yourself and your work. Realize that what you have to offer can benefit others. Maybe it will be easier if you consider promoting your work and not you.

I read an excellent book, Network Magic, by Rick Frishman and Jill Lublin. It's intense, but their approach to networking is not what's in it for me, but what can I do for you.