Mer,
I am so sorry this is happening to you. Wow he really made some doozy of mistakes. An affair with a much younger woman - mostly likely trying to relive his glory younger days...and she, a married woman with children - looking for escape/fantasy and appreciation. Amazing how affairs never bring that to us, but no matter how many times people testify to that, others are still dupped into thinking that it will work out fine for them.

They want the cake and to eat someone else's too.

Mer, you as a woman are a treasure. A delicious creation of God meant to be admired, adored, honored and to be "window shopped" by your husband, who is supposed to be your soulmate...that is what it feels like to be in the "top 5%" mentioned earlier. If you don't feel that, you need to ask yourself if you can accept living with a man whose taste have changed - and he desires the bitterness of temptation and betrayal above the sweetness of commitment.

You are worthy of love, honor, respect. The real question is he worthy of you? Only you can answer that in your heart.

Take away the "shoulds" and "fears" that are based upon things like status quos, opinions and needs and ask yourself "What would I do if there were no obstacles?"

The answer is your choice to love you, honor you, and respect you in the way your heart desires.

Life, God, fate and friends will pave a way through any new change, and you will be comforted if you leave knowing you treasured the woman you are and were blessed to be.