Mer, all of the advice given is good, and Chickadee hit it right on the nose when she said the most devastating thing is losing yourself. I did that. My former, late husband did not cheat, but he mentally and emotionally abused me to the point that I almost ceased to exist. It took all the courage I could muster to tell him I wanted a divorce; now, 4 years later, I have a new husband, a new life and a new outlook. I, too, will help you in any way I can, and will be glad to talk to you via PM if you prefer. You deserve so much more - take care of yourself, please.