Hello. Hope you get out of this limbo hell and back to a good life...life is too short at our age ( at any age really) to be so miserable. If money is holding you back, immediatly start school or vocational school. Maybe you could get money for job/school as part of your settlement . Your husband sounds like he is spiraling down so get/spend what you can now...if you stay with him for the money he will probably passive/agressive spend it or go into debt and then you will not have your own career...so get started on that now and then whether or not you stay with him your life will be a lot better.

kwitstar, welcome. Thanks for jumping in and sharing advice. I hope you'll check out the other forums and let us get to know you a little.

Welcome Kwitstar, great advice. Happy to see a newbie jumping right in....

Mer, all of the advice given is good, and Chickadee hit it right on the nose when she said the most devastating thing is losing yourself. I did that. My former, late husband did not cheat, but he mentally and emotionally abused me to the point that I almost ceased to exist. It took all the courage I could muster to tell him I wanted a divorce; now, 4 years later, I have a new husband, a new life and a new outlook. I, too, will help you in any way I can, and will be glad to talk to you via PM if you prefer. You deserve so much more - take care of yourself, please.

Thanks for all the new postings. You are all right, I'm sure. For now I am hanging in there. After 27 years of marriage, what's another year or so? The counselor suggests doing more things together. So we are trying. I just feel that at my age, and with all the men my age wanting young woman, what are my chances here. I also am very dependent on him financially, which gives him power, of course. We will see what the future brings. Mer

Mer, not all the men want younger women. Some of the younger men want older women......

Daisygirl

Or some of them just want all women.

Then there's the one who is looking for someone just like YOU.
chick

Let's not forget that some men want younger men.

Mer,
I am so sorry this is happening to you. Wow he really made some doozy of mistakes. An affair with a much younger woman - mostly likely trying to relive his glory younger days...and she, a married woman with children - looking for escape/fantasy and appreciation. Amazing how affairs never bring that to us, but no matter how many times people testify to that, others are still dupped into thinking that it will work out fine for them.

They want the cake and to eat someone else's too.

Mer, you as a woman are a treasure. A delicious creation of God meant to be admired, adored, honored and to be "window shopped" by your husband, who is supposed to be your soulmate...that is what it feels like to be in the "top 5%" mentioned earlier. If you don't feel that, you need to ask yourself if you can accept living with a man whose taste have changed - and he desires the bitterness of temptation and betrayal above the sweetness of commitment.

You are worthy of love, honor, respect. The real question is he worthy of you? Only you can answer that in your heart.

Take away the "shoulds" and "fears" that are based upon things like status quos, opinions and needs and ask yourself "What would I do if there were no obstacles?"

The answer is your choice to love you, honor you, and respect you in the way your heart desires.

Life, God, fate and friends will pave a way through any new change, and you will be comforted if you leave knowing you treasured the woman you are and were blessed to be.