Hi,
Life has been rough. I had another big blow out with BF and have just been struggling to figure it all out. He will not go for help, blames me, saying I need to figure myself out. A very wise dear friend of mine who knows him helped to take my anger out of this. He is just so locked up and unable to come out of his self imposed haven of safety and denial. He has to blame me. Otherwise his head would probably explode. Well..until I can pull it all together I am trying to just not be combative and look at him with just sympathy and honestly, sadness. How sad for him. Its helped me look at his kids in a different light too. How sad for all of them.

I've been reading Eat, Pray, Love and it really hit me hard. I know some of you here have been reading it. I feel like the writer. It pushed so many buttons for me. I wish I had a book deal though! I'd be outta here with dust behind me. But I don't have that financial luxury.

As far as my faith, I'm still struggling. Even yoga yesterday was a battle. My physical body felt like the tin man. It was not until almost the end of the class that I had finally cleared my mind and body and could practice. for now, I am focusing on my job and spending alot of time there. It feel safe and appreciated. At home I am just kicking back, reading and spending time outside. Just wish the morning blues would go away. That has always been my battle.

O.k. I'm going on and on. Thanks for helping me feel I am not alone.

Bonnie

p.s. Bonnie rose...is that your full name or is rose your middle name? I'm from the Chicago area, very few Bonnie's. I was suppose to be "Beth", but my grandfather who was from Europe pronouced "th" as "t", so that is how I bacame a Bonnie!