BonnieK,
I, too, have been troubled in my spirit these past two years. I don't want to blame God for allowing such misery to happen to such wonderful people. When we hurt extremely bad, we tend to fight with God. Why God, why? And our faith is shaken down to the core. So when you said a few posts back, about struggling with your faith, believe me you're not alone.
But I keep praying and I keep asking God to bolster my faith and trust in Him. Because I know, that I know God is the only answer to this ole world's woes!!!
I said all that, to say this..."You're not alone. We all struggle with our faith, sometimes!"
Blessings,
bonnie rose
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https://www.amazon.com/author/bonnie.mill-lemke
https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/bookshelf