Say more, hot flash. What makes you believe they will find a way to make you miserable? Would your presence at the wedding be an addition or a detractor to the celebration? Do you want to go, or do you feel obligated to go? What would be the consequences of going or not going?

I try hard to only go where I feel I will be welcome. There were times, in a former life, oh, sooooo very long ago, that I felt if I was invited, I had to go. Then I would go and be miserable. Of course, I made others miserable, too.

Not anymore! If I feel that I am wanted, because I am a loved member of the group, then I go. If not, I would rather be home with a good movie alone.