Thanks for all your comments. I have been to counseling and pretty much have determined I am not in the right place. We have been together almost 8 years. We were great the first few years. We were both getting divorced so the support was life saving. Now that is way over, my mom passed away suddenly in 2004 leaving me in shambles, trying to financialy and emotionally get 2 kids thru college. You know the 2 live cheaper than 1? Well that is our story. I love him, but I am so worn out by his ridiculous outlook with his kids and general lack of respect for my emotions. I'm not perfect, menepausal, thyroid problems. I had to get on this board so feel secure enough to know that I was not crazy, he is so closed minded. I have thought often about leaving, but its not easy....I did it once and I don't regret it, but the emotional tourmoil nearly killed me.sigh...very complicated