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#71126 - 08/15/05 06:01 PM
Hi.I am new.
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Member
Registered: 08/15/05
Posts: 35
Loc: UK
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Hiya people. I am new to the site. I am from the UK. And have been a stepparent for nearly 9 years. The trouble I am having is the stepdaughter,its not just me either its all adults. She is disrespectful,rude,lazy,mouthy,arrogant and just downright nasty. She has got something to say about everything, bullies my kids. And treats myself and her father with such disrespect. I have honestly done everything in my power to get her sorted. But it has now come down to ignoring her every move, sound. I really dislike the girl. We took my son to soccer training yesterday and came home to the washing basket overflowing with her dirty washing. Gary asked her why she hadnt done it and even offered to show her how to use the machine. She turned round and said that she shouldnt have to do anything around the house cos thats what we are here for. And that until she is 18 and an adult shes not doing a thing. Her laundry is now in a black bag, and will NOT be done by me. If she runs out of clothes NOT MY PROBLEM. My husband who normally does things to keep the peace was shocked by her behavour and totally agrees with me. I need some more help on how to deal with her, because just being in the same house as her is making me ill.
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#71127 - 08/15/05 06:37 PM
Re: Hi.I am new.
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Member
Registered: 08/15/05
Posts: 35
Loc: UK
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Oh may I point out that the stepkids stay with us 4 days and their mother 4 days. Its always been like this. Just to straigten things out.
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#71129 - 08/16/05 02:29 PM
Re: Hi.I am new.
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Member
Registered: 08/15/05
Posts: 35
Loc: UK
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Bit of her father, bit of her mother and bit of her nan. Who treated her like she was the only one that mattered. Noone wants to take responsibility for this thing. She thinks she is a diva. Thats it. Noone else matters. For instance last night, shes on the phone. Sitting on the stairs. Now any NORMAL person would move if someone was coming up or down the stairs. NOT HER. Oh no. I stood there and made a hand gesture for her to move, and she got rather rude. Telling ME that an excuse me wouldnt hurt. So we have got to be nice and polite towards her, and not get it back. I dont think so. I am treating her the way she does me. I have been lying awake night after night trying to find some way out of this. I have only been married for 3 months. So obviously dont want to go. But after 9 years in this relationship the stepdaughter and I should have a reasonable relationship, shouldnt we?? I am hurting so much at the moment, Husband doesnt want to know. Hes not bothered at the way she is. She walks around this house as if its her own. Does nothing to contribute to the chores in any way shape or form. In fact its me or her father that do it. But I refuse point blank with her laundry after the episode recently. Husband will not make her go live with her mother full time, as he feels hes letting his kids down if he does that. After 9 years of abuse from this brat, I really cant do this anymore. Yes ignoring her and what she wants is working to a certain extent. But she is now threatening my 8 year old that she will punch him if he doesnt do what she says. Constantly asking for money from him. I cant stand the kid, And feel I have done the best I can with her. I give up. I have been told to keep ignoring her cos she will be the first to cave in. Especially where her washing is concerned. And she will realise that her ignorance, rudness and verbal cruelty will turn on her.
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#71131 - 08/17/05 03:11 AM
Re: Hi.I am new.
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Member
Registered: 08/15/05
Posts: 35
Loc: UK
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Shes 13. I have tried and tried to talk to her over and over again. It works for a few weeks, then I get the name calling I am a *****NG B***H for telling her to turn the tv down. I do not appreciate mtv thumping through the house at 7.30am. So had good reason to tell her to turn it down. I have even got my mum involved and it seemed to work. In fact for nearly 3 months we got on so well. I thought it was the turning point I so so wanted. The she calls me the above name I mentioned and it went downhill from there. Had to get mum down again the other week, and she was even verbally abusive to her. I am at my wits end. I cannot deal with her anymore. And husband doesnt want to know. You are probably right he doesnt want to hurt her. But I can see where this childs life is leading. And its not gonna be pretty. He cant see it. Hes nto ashamed at how shes turned out, hes not annoyed she treats me and mine like something shes stepped in. But doesnt want me to leave, cos more kids in another broken marriage isnt good. Yes he has a point but hes not helping matters. I told him about her threatening my son if he didnt do her dishes. Ya know what?? He did nothing. I am screaming inside for my children. And for the man I once loved. But am afraid to say just kinda like now. I dont look at him in the same way. This child is tearing me apart. But why for years has she said its about time you n dad got married. Just to tear it all apart so soon after the event. I just want her to go live with her mum full time. I cant deal with her. He works shifts, so for 2 days I am here with them. Not so much when schools in. Its summer break here, so I have had to take time off to watch my boys. But even when he is on rest days he is fishing and leaving me to deal with her. I feel like the person I was has died. And need to get her back. Please help.
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#71132 - 08/17/05 03:46 AM
Re: Hi.I am new.
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Member
Registered: 08/15/05
Posts: 35
Loc: UK
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Oh just found some more dirty washing in the bathroom. I put it right into her special black bag. She seems to be wearing the clothing once, and its going in the wash. She doesnt do anything to warrent it going in the laundry. Hasnt come out of her room for 3 days. And certainly hasnt done anything to get up a sweat.lol. Shes gonna get such a shock when she has no clothing.I find it rather amusing. Shes not taking that attitude with us and getting away with it.
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#71134 - 08/16/05 06:29 PM
Re: Hi.I am new.
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Member
Registered: 08/15/05
Posts: 35
Loc: UK
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I know, and thankyou. I have been walking round in a daze today. Nearly in tears. After spending alot of time cleaning the bathroom yesterday, i came home from a little trip out to the town to find the room in a total state. 2 Towels(why 2) in the wash basket, thrown in there like she has no care in the world. Shampoo left out, Just a total bloody mess. I dont think over here in the UK we have councelling for stepparents in greif. And I know that he WILL NOT want to come and sort things out because he doesnt think there is anything wrong with her. He thinks I make it all up, I am sure of it. I am just so unhappy. Other than councelling I cant see anyway of this improoveing
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