As I re-read this post, it occurred to me that you may be playing right into your step-son's hands.

By refusing to be with him while he is with his son, you are forcing your husband to choose between the two of you. To choose what he desires over what he owes is almost impossible for a responsible man. Your step son probably instinctively knows his father can't choose and is using the normal guilt of divorce to force his father away from you.
Your avoidance of the stepson adds to the situation. By giving him time alone with his father while you are alone at home means the kid has won that round.
Ultimately he may rid himself of the stepmother of whom he is probably extremely jealous. It is emotional blackmail, but your husband is apparently helpless to defend himself against the guilt of it.
If you could stop avoiding the stepson and become actress enough to giggle and snuggle up to your husband like crazy when the stepson is around, it might not only drive him crazy with jealousy, but drive your husband crazy with desire, and the two of you could leave the stepson out in the cold next time.

Hey, it might be worth a try.
smile

[ March 26, 2005, 01:47 AM: Message edited by: smilinize ]