Chatty Lady, and all, thank you so so much for your support with this. You have gotten me this far in the weekend and I propably will go out and see a movie today and get my nails done. And, No, he did not put my name on the mortgage. His late wifes name is still on there. But, that is ok. I have enough money to get through this. I really don't want his house. Maybe some cash to help me make the transistion. I can't wait to see what the lawyer will say. Thank you all for your help. I feel so lucky that I have found this site!!!

Ladybug, yes the age different is probably too much. On top of the porn stuff, he needs to take viagra when we have sex. Isn't that fun!!!! Sometimes it does not even work.

[ February 05, 2006, 12:06 PM: Message edited by: Dotsie ]

So then, your husband not only hurts you with the porn but is sexually dysfunctional?

He tries to hurt you because of his own insecurity.

Do you feel there is anything to like and respect in this man?

Sorry ladies I am just catching up on the posts. China, did you survive the weekend? We have all been there. You will be just fine. Better to do something now rather than wait. The longer you wait the more your finances etc become entwined and it gets harder to get out. Praying for you.

China,
Mine plays bingo too. (any excuse to drink and socalize)
It tears me apart to look at my husband because I don't take marriage lightly and I do love him.. Sometimes I hate him (almost) too. I've never been a more volatile relationship.
This morning I felt like a loser because I asked him if he loved me and looked at him with what must have been a baleful look...
He said, "yes, I do, but it is you who is basically turning me away because you have chosen your daughter and grandaughter over our relationship.
He is moving into an apartment complex where his rent and utilities will be provided as manager and for 3 months my daughter, gd and I can live in the house as renters.
He hates it when I "try to make him feel guilty" so he turns it around and tries to blame me for everything.
He has his eye on a flirtatious blonde who is about 23. I saw him talking to her last night..
I hate it when I seem so vulnerable and needy sometimes.

Hi there and thank you girls again. Yes, some progress. I went to see a counselor today. She basically told me the same thing you ladies are. I have these choices: leave, ask him to go to counseling, i can accept it and go to S-Anon. I came home and spoke to him. It went ok, no screaming. I told him my choices and asked him twice if he would go to counseling with me. He said NO. He is 59, been this way all his life, not about to change. So there you have it. The counselor gave me this web site: www.serenitycenter.homestead.com. I can go to meetings and I just may, so I do not get caught up in this again. I would need to go to the S-ANON, 12 step program.

Number 5 - well, good, get him out of there. And guess what, family does come first. Chosen your daughter and grand daughter over him. Well, he has chosen PORN over you, and that 23 yo over you. Hello, please don't even have your daughter and grd near him. You know I feel so much better already. My confusion is gone, no more snooping because it is real. Now I just need to keep this strengh up. And, sooner or later have to tell my 84 year old Mom. She will be devastated. I will wait for that. I am upset enough as it is, I do not need her questions right now.

Chatty lady, thank you again too. I did go to the movies on Sunday and saw, BrokeBack Mountain. Have any of your gals seen that yet? If so, what did you think? That was a good suggestion. And, you know, I have never been to the movies by myself before, and it was OK. Neat. Nothing to it.

China, how are things going today? I was thinking of going to a movie my parents suggested called, 'The Last Holiday' with Queen Latifa. They said it was a real feel good movie.

Anyway, hope your life is going well under the circumstances. You are in my prayers today.
Rhonda

china, one day at a time.

I want to see that movie. I keep hearing such great things about it.