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#70712 - 09/09/06 08:41 PM Re: Friends in general..... [Re: Whirlwind]
49erDonna Offline
Member

Registered: 06/24/06
Posts: 384
Loc: California
Good luck!!

community college classes is another possibility to consider - we have some great off the wall classes in our area

Let us know how it goes!!

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#70713 - 09/10/06 08:50 AM Re: Friends in general..... [Re: 49erDonna]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
I emailed whirlwind to see how things are going. I hope she'll pop back in soon.
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
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#70714 - 09/10/06 10:26 AM Re: Friends in general.....
Whirlwind Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 261
Loc: Atlanta, GA
I'm here Dotsie, I've just been lurking lately. Thanks for checking up on me! I have posted, most recently under the "vacations" section. We've had a very funny conversation going on (seems like I'm the only "nature girl" in this wonderful bunch of women. But I told you all I was strange when I first got here and you welcomed me anyway. LOL).

I've joined the "Sisters On The Fly" camping club, and plan to go to their first event in October. That is gonna be a blast.

I've started teaching scuba again, and met a nice lady on the last Florida trip. She's single/divorced too, and we have alot in common. We're going to meet for lunch/dinner soon.

And I have realized that there "are" people around I can call on and count on. Now, I'm not talking about "best girlfriends" (what I was looking for), but friends nonetheless. Friends who give AND take (the way it's supposed to be).

Lastly, I've allowed myself to admit that I'm a bit tired of being "the lone ranger" these days. I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately, and this was a big issue. Since getting divorced, I've had a tendency to keep any possible romantic relationship at arms length. Some of you know that I've dated someone for about five years now (off and on), and we've had our ups and downs. Well, he's been in Australia for the past three weeks, and I've been "evaluating" that too. What better time to break up, than when you've had three weeks apart already? He's done and said things over the years that I haven't liked. But, I haven't always been that easy to be around either (Lone Ranger, remember? I never took off that hat.) Anyway, I've spent some time going over my journals. The "ups and downs" ended about a year and a half ago, and since that time he has tried in every way possible to be the perfect companion. Last weekend I came to the conclusion that maybe I need to "take off the hat" and see what happens. The only big downside is he's always said he'll never marry again, and I'm not big on "shacking up" forever. Yesterday I had an email from him, and it sounds like he's thought about a few things too while he's been gone. Not sure what (if anything) might change, but I DO know I can't wait for him to get back to Atlanta tonight. Three weeks has been a LONG time.

So now you have my update. How about the rest of you gals, any news to report?

Whirlwind

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#70715 - 09/10/06 03:00 PM Re: Friends in general..... [Re: Whirlwind]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Whirlwind, good for you. I think sometimes the declarations we make to ourselves are the best because it's almost like giving ourselves permission to go forward, you know?

Check out this woman's "movement." Talk about some guts...

http://takemeoutforlunch.blogspot.com/

She has said she wants 100 men to take her out to lunch.

JJ

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#70716 - 09/10/06 06:04 PM Re: Friends in general..... [Re: jawjaw]
Whirlwind Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 261
Loc: Atlanta, GA
Jawjaw, what a kewl link! Looks like some fun, entertaining reading. And yes, she is a brave one.

I can't wait to dig into her blog.

Whirlwind

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#70717 - 09/10/06 07:01 PM Re: Friends in general..... [Re: Whirlwind]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Whirlwind make sure if he is thinking about changes that he is thinking about them for the right reasons NOT because hes been away from your goodies for three weeks and he's hungry, so to speak...
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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#70718 - 09/10/06 07:49 PM Re: Friends in general..... [Re: chatty lady]
Whirlwind Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 261
Loc: Atlanta, GA
Chatty, I don't know if he's thinking about changes or not. I'm "hoping" so based on a couple of emails, but deep down I know that I'll probably end up having to decide if this issue is a "deal breaker" and move on. I'll give it until Christmas.

I'll admit, I've "fed" the "I'm an independent female" monster for years, and that could be why he was attracted to me years ago. He broke up with the long term girlfriend before me because she wanted to get married.

Funny, until about 6 months ago, I would have told you that I'd never do that again. But slowly, those feelings are changing. Maybe I've been by myself long enough now. Maybe I don't want to be known as "granddaddy's live in girlfriend" by his granddaughter. Who knows. I work with several very happily married men too, so I'm constantly hearing the "happy couple stuff." Maybe it's wearing off on me.

Is anyone else struggling with this issue? I'm curious.

Trouble is, we get along great. We like all the same things. He gives me the space I need when I need it, and doesn't make me feel guilty about it (and I do the same for him). And he's supportive of everything I do (including joining the ladies' camping group. He wanted to buy me a camper, but I wouldn't let him). Truthfully we've been through alot together, good and bad. The fact that we're "still" together says something to me.

And this may be TMI, but there have been no "goodies" for about four months now. So that is not the motivating factor here.

Time will tell I guess. But thanks for the thoughts/advice.

Whirlwind


Edited by Whirlwind (09/10/06 07:57 PM)

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#70719 - 09/11/06 01:09 PM Re: Friends in general..... [Re: Whirlwind]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Whirlwind, you said:

Trouble is, we get along great. We like all the same things. He gives me the space I need when I need it, and doesn't make me feel guilty about it (and I do the same for him). And he's supportive of everything I do (including joining the ladies' camping group. He wanted to buy me a camper, but I wouldn't let him). Truthfully we've been through alot together, good and bad. The fact that we're "still" together says something to me.

This is interesting becasue I could say the very same things about my husband of 27 years. Married people can act the same way.
I think this is a great topic. I'm going to begin a topic in the Singlehood forum called too marry , or not to marry. Let's see what women have to say.

Good to see you!
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com


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#70720 - 10/19/06 05:42 AM Re: Friends in general..... [Re: Bluebird]
klmr13 Offline


Registered: 10/13/06
Posts: 180
Loc: Stars Hollow
Jackie, I totally agree about the email forwards. Let me just paint you a picture...Last June my father fell and broke his hip - as you can imagine, i was running back and forth to the hospital, and then to a nursing home where he was soon brought. Meanwhile, my friend was moving and had no one to watch her dog so, of course, she asked me. I managed to carve out the time and watched him from around 8 in the morning 'til around 4 in the afternoon. Oh, she was so grateful (blah, blah, blah) and "we're as close as sisters" and "our families should spend Christmas together", etc., etc. Keep in mind, there were many other times over the years when I helped her - drove her to the dentist when she was having panic attacks while driving, drove her and her son to the doctor when he broke his foot, etc., etc.

About 4 weeks later, my father passed away suddenly. I realized my friend had just started a new job, so if she didn't come to the wake, I'd have understood. But...she never called anymore and never had the decency to send a sympathy card or Mass Card. I wouldn't have expected flowers because I knew she wasn't in great financial shape. But since that time, I have NEVER heard from her again! Yet, I must be in her email address book because at least several times a month I receive a forward from her. And the joke is that the forwards are oftentimes religious (this is another case of people "talking religion", instead of LIVING IT.) and even more often about friendship, which I find pretty funny! I usually just delete them.

I have learned not to hang onto anger over things like this - I try to let it melt away. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hurt.

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#70721 - 10/19/06 09:02 AM Re: Friends in general..... [Re: klmr13]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
klmr, Sorry to hear about your dad's death. How are you managing.

What is your friend thinking? Are you sure something isn't going on in her life? Has she behaved like this in the past? What a hearbreak. There is no excuse.
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com


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