Number 5 - doing ok. I am at work right now. I did sleep in the other bedroom last night. Trying to heel by keeping focused on ME. I also went to my step class last night, which I really enjoy.

Dotsie, yes, 1 day at a time. I have that little blue book somewhere.

Dotie, are you from Maryland too. May I ask where?

Towson. Where are you?

I'm considering doing a boomer forum gathering for those in the area.

I live in Sykesville, MD!!! Please keep me posted.

Dotsie are you really considering some sort of get together? I am only 75 minutes away from Baltimore...and my daughters competed in gymnastics meets in Towson every year....so please count me in if and when you decide on something...what fun!!!

Hey gals from Maryland, question for you. I did get married in Las Vegas 1 and 1/2 years ago and just found out I could get an annulment from the state of Nevada real cheap. But, not sure about that since I sold my townhouse and changed jobs to move in with mr wonderful. He brought up the idea, probably because it would be easier for him. DO you happen to know the laws for divorce in Maryland? I am going to see a lawyer on Tuesday. I just want to check all my options.

Well ladies it has been some time since I have been to the open forum - although, I have chatted with a few privately.
Since I started this topic, thought maybe I would give an update on my situation.
Things have never been better!! Surprisingly, I guess for some to believe?
My husband and I had to have another 'conversation' after he took a business trip and I found a charge for a porn movie on his hotel bill!-found this totally by accident - I had stopped the surveillance - because he really has given up the internet porn all together.
His reason for the movie - curiosity ! Still don't buy that as an excuse - but, hey, I think they all use that one as well as...."I am just looking....nothing wrong as long as I don't go any farther than that!"
In any event - it has all had a good result (so far) and we are more in sync than we have been in years! He said he now realizes (fully) the negative impact this has had on me and us as a couple and he promises to steer clear of all porn activity.

To China, maybe your husband can't quit without more time and effort. Is he clear that his behavior hurts you deeply? And what will he say when all your fam. and friends find out the reason you had to leave him-Porn Addiction? It is hard to teach an old dog new tricks----but isn't impossible. He does have to be the one to change - but he has to want to keep you and your marriage as a priority!!! Nothing less would be acceptable. Maybe your relationship is too 'young' to weather the storm - and that is sad - but only you know the reality of what you are willing to go through in your marriage. Be careful and not too reactionary in your decision making process.

[ February 09, 2006, 04:34 PM: Message edited by: Kay5 ]

Kay 5 - You have made some really good points there. He did finally apologize for hurting me. Does he realize how much, I am not sure. I am so hurt now I really do not have the energy to do anything else but read and watch TV. I just bought some self help books to read tonight. I plan on going to a 12 step S-Anon on Saturday and I have another meeting with my counselor on Monday. I work 9 to 5 Monday - Friday, and right now that is a blessing too. I enjoy my work and the people around me. One of the books I bought is "What to do When you Don't Know What to Do." God Will Make a Way. I guess, One Day At a Time. Again, thanks for checking in on me. I really need the support right now.

The whole porn thing is a problem. I really think lots, and I mean lots, of men do this. It bothers me a lot and I did confront my husband a few months ago. Seems to have stopped now so I feel better. Our sex life has always been good, so it wasn't so much that the porn caused problems in the bedroom, but it made me feel bad. Like I wasn't good enough for him. Although he uses the same old excuse that he is just looking, it really hurts the trust factor.