Yep, I tried it! Now, not to certain about it!

Hi Chatty Lady,

Thanks for the welcome and advice. I read the pages here and also took a look at some of the cyber sites. I think I will probably not go that way, but I did enjoy reading the posts. (smile)

Sadly, none of these sites screen the members. Guess for liability reasons. I did it half heartedly for a while..met a few men...they actually were rather decent but there was no chemistry...it felt like a job interview very stressful making conversation with a stranger on the phone and then having to meet them etc. Two of the men were decent gentlemen who took me for dinner. I called both of them back and thanked them but told them it didn't look like we had enough chemistry for dating. they both took it well. One experience was awful..a guy who met me, then pretended he had a family emergency and had to leave( guess he didn't like the way I looked? ) so the experiences can vary widely. I had met and dated a man for two years from an expensive dating service who turned out to be a con man who borrowed money from me. People do get married and find love from these services and just as many or more find frustration, heartbreak, boredom...the whole gammet.. for now I find it too stressful and distracting so am giving it a pass.

Do you think the percentages of good/bad relationships compare with people you meet in a bar?

The difference with meeting in a bar or where ever face to face is its harder for them to lie about age, weight and such when you're looking at the person. As far as the rest of it, unless your a psychic they can lie, lie, lie about job, relationships, kids what ever. Any way you look at it it's a crap shoot. I met a gorgeous man in Church and he turned out to be a jackass of the worst kind. Go figure....One thing I would advise is to take a LONG time getting to know a person inside and out before making any type of a commitment....Sometimes time itself reveals the trouble in a man/woman...

This may sound hokey, but I still think it's a good idea to date someone that a family member or firend has known for a very long time.

No, Dotsie, it is not hokey at all, I know people who met their spouse through good friends. Both friends and family know your strengths and weaknesses, thus they can determine if the person is a good fit, too.

Chatty, Ditto! People in general, not just men, are the same no matter where you meet them. You can find good and bad anywhere!

Dotsie, I think that is better, but what if you never meet anyone that way?

A single woman needs a private investigator fund so if you meet Mr. Right, you can be sure he didn't just get out of prison.

Daisygirl

Dotsie, I also trust that way of meeting a man and it should be a good safe way to meet one but thats how I met the church man, through good friends who said they knew him well. Apparently he had them and everyone else fooled about his behavior, me too until I let him into my home....

Daisygirl it boggles the mind how no one seems to be forthcoming about what they are really about or looking for in a relationship. You're right we do need a Private Detective.

This is all very helpful and interesting. I particularly like Quitstar's characherization of a "job interview, and stressful making conversation." I've "been there, done that" more times than I care to recount, as well as actually becoming involved with a few of them.

Now, here's the latest episode: I am not searching on Internet Singles' sites, but in the past week, I met a man on Pogo, where I play Internet games. There is chat on there while games are going on. This man is in Maine; I'm in WV. He's divorced 5 years, very handsome, and has attended to the care of his ailing parents who have now recently passed away. He has been emailing me incessantly, is incredibly handsome and articulate. His plans are, now that his parents are deceased, to move to FL and a warmer climate. I have to admit, that a relationship with a retiree summering in Maine and wintering in Florida is appealing! At the same time, I am very reticent and even a bit annoyed at his constant contact with me. Why is that? Have I become a recluse? Shallow? Probably.
ARI