Leigha, and Dianne, he can still read our posts, but he can't post.

Leigha, your words about taking sides and having an enemy spoke to me. Thank you for that reminder.

Dear Dotsie

It is always a challenge to remember when our emotions or feelings rise to the surface, whether due to injustice or self fear. To remember that loss doesn't exist, it is only created through our perceptions, is a constant challenge, more so on some days than others as we all grow into the beauty within.

I am challenged by it myself and have to keep a full reign on the mind's workings within which can sometimes be a full-time job.

Staying in awareness and not getting sucked into the energy around you can sometimes be difficult or being faced with a deja vu experience, or just something that reassociates with something negative from the past, a memory, a smell, a song...anything that sets off loss.

That's all it really is, as we are all givers and receivers of energy. Simple to understand but it can be a full time job staying aware!

It took me years to get to the place I am now...where foregiveness and understanding become stronger than the pain of loss and it was worth every moment, getting to this place, untangling myself from past hurts and fears and loss.

How the beauty lives when the mind is clear and joy wells up effortlessly...that is the greatest gift of life...the joy in understanding.

Have a lovely weekend Dotsie!
With love Leigha

It's a known fact that males are less evolved than females. I say we dump 'em. Save a few for the zoos, some of them are cute, but heck-we have the technology, let's rebuild em! Men are only excited by visual stimulation. We left them in the caves. Women, on the other hand can be stimulated by all their senses. Bif

Dianne, I was trying to figure out a way to say younger guys like dating older women because our 'experience'. I know when i first married, I was 21 and married an older man of 35,(thats 15 yrs) I married him because he was older and I thought he would take care of me, wish I had waited til I finished school got a career and knew where I was mentally. Now almost 40, or as a friend of mine says "that number" I wish i had done more before I got married. But at least now I know what I want in a man when i am ready to marry again if I marry again. Now to try and get rid of the first man, I have been seperated 3 yrs but dont have the money to legally divorce nor will the legal aide people help. Oh well, sorry this wasnt exactally what this topic was about.

Deb

Dianne,

I don't what the age difference is that determines an older man and a younger woman status. When I married the first time, it was to a guy my age. It was like having a child to raise.

The next 2 relationships I had were with men 14-15 years older than me. Although not perfect, it was much more satisfying on a psychological and emotional level.

When I married the second time when I was 37, it was also to a man 15 years older than I. We are intellectually and psychologically compatible. He is my absolute best friend. We have been married almost 19 years. We work together out of our home. So we have been together 7 days a week, 24 hours a day for nearly the entire 19 years, and it has been the best relationship I have ever had.

I do think that women are generally more emotionally mature than men regardless of the age difference,and I found that an older man tended to narrow that gap in the relationships I have had. I may have pissed off some older women at the time, but it wasn't my intent.

It may be that as men get older (60s and 70s), they finally wise up enough to have relationships with women their own age. But I remember my girlfriends in my 20s and 30s were always complaining about how immature and childish their same-age husbands/boyfriends were.

Leigha,
I'm curious why you say that you're not a feminist, when most if not all of what you've expressed I've also read in published articles of self-avowed feminists? Is the label troubling? The connotation?

Debi, remember that you are still responsible for some of his debt, even if you are not living together. Like IRS!

Dianne, even if i didnt contribute to them? he racked up a bank over draft during a ime i was not working???

just cuz i was using it to take care of the house and him. Now my prob is finding the money to start my biz and no one will help that i have found yet because i did not save what money i did have incase.

Debi

My firstmarriage was to my highschoole sweetheart three years older than I and he was so beneath me mentally, like a child. Unfortunately he passed away very young. After several years I married a man 22 years my senior and the marriage lasted 14 years and was very successful except that he drank heavely and he and my eldest son, his step-son hated one another. I divorced him because he was violent with my son at times. But foir me the marriage was good. I liked the age difference, I was always his baby, his young bride and that was great plus he was established business wise and I had a beautiful home and life. I sometimes think he drank so much because the age difference bothered "him" and made him nervous....By the way you can hire a good Paralegal to get you your divorce for a small portion of what an attorney charges. I did that with number 3. Instead of several thousands of dollars I paid a mere $450. and am just as divorced...

I'm 4 months older than my husband. We married when we were 26. He was immature then, and he's immature now. Some days I feel like I'm living with a toddler with beard stubble. I'm sure he'll still be immature at 80.