I have many girlfriends 40-50 years old who are talented and beautiful but the men their age only want to date women in their late 20's or early 30's. It makes me sick.

I had a not so nice conversation with a man the other night who joined a group of us at dinner. I've met him before. He's in his late 40's, not bad looking but his ego walks through the door before his body does. Anyway, I don't know if he thought I wanted to date him or my girlfriend but he starts talking about how he only dates younger women. Well, puke. I couldn't help myself. I said, "What is it you see when you look in the mirror? It must be a 27 year old man since you'll only date women around that age but I doubt that they see a 27 year old when they look at you." Not very kind but geesh. Give me a break!

I'm tired of middle age women being devalued like an old shoe! Shallow Hal's...all of them!

Before I married in 2003 I went to a party with my daughter who was in her mid twenties. Men my age were flirting with her. Men in their thirties were flirting with me. We thought middle aged men need the ego prop of dating younger women, but couldn't figure out the younger guys flirting with an older woman.
smile

This will sound very crude but...a lot of younger men want to have sex with an older woman because we're known to be experienced!

When I owned my DQ, this young guy kept coming into my store asking me to go out with him. Okay, he was 18 years old!!!!! I asked him, "So, what are we gonna do, cruise around in your car? After all, we can't go have drinks because you're not legal."

He just smiled. I said, "Oh, I get it. You want a sexual experience with an older woman. Well, I don't need a sexual experience with a younger guy because I did that when I was young!"

So, I never saw him again and instead of feeling flattered, I was insulted!!!! Please, give me a break!

I think the old men who *insist* on dating younger women are really just into the appearance...they don't realize that, if fortune is smiling, beautiful young women grow into fantastic older women. And then what would they do???

It's really pathetic when these men hit on women half their age. They do it both for the shallowness ego trip -- "Oh lookie! lookie! I'm going out with a young really stupid insecure woman but BOY SHE LOOKS GREAT" and the macho caveman power control issue "Maybe if I get some immature insecure unintelligent woman she'll let me be the boss." The young women who get into these relationships are either looking for a daddy figure or the money. Ugh either way.

Shallow attracts shallow. They all deserve each other.

When I was younger and "old" guys would hit on me, I'd just look them straight in the eye and say "You're too old to keep up with me and I'd give you a heart attack." That usually got rid of them fast.

I have many girlfriends 40-50 years old who are talented and beautiful but the men their age only want to date women in their late 20's or early 30's. It makes me sick.

I'm tired of middle age women being devalued like an old shoe! Shallow Hal's...all of them

You really got this one backwars Dianne. (yes i know you fond a guy who says he only dates younger women. but hes the exception) As a rule older men do not date period. Not youger woen, not olderones. They are heartily sick of the abuse that they cop during even the most casual dates.

Young women do occasionally pursue these older men for several crazy reasons which is why these relationships usually end in tears. Some see money not realising that the first wife has taken him to the cleaners already. Quite a few can't stand the ideathat this guy isn't interested in kids. This lack of interest can be a real ego bruise for a young female adn many actually chase these men because they simply can't abide the idea of a man who isn't interested in them.

As far as shallow goes welll ............................
This is what shallow is really about.

"I go on this great first date and we decide to share a cab home - separate stops. When we get in, he buckles his seatbelt! I know that's a wise thing to do, so I feel like a jerk saying this, but it totally turned me off. It just seemed so kid-like and lame. Is he too much of a weenie for me, or am I out of my mind?" wrote Unrestrained Lady, Upper West Side.
To the uninitiated, Unrestrained Lady may seem like a neurotic aberration. But ditching men because they fail to measure up in some infinitesimal way has been common place among daters and among womens talk for years. We all know women who won't go out with men who don't drive “prestige” cars or didn't go to a "prestige" school. Or the woman who instantly went off a man she had been crazy for because he turned up at her front door wearing a plaited belt. In the days before e-tags, another felt her stomach turn when her date fumbled with the bridge toll. These are usually not just excuses to jettison an unsatisfactory male, but genuine reasons for spontaneous revulsion.

Just watched The Human Stain last night. Although I'm a big fan of Philip Roth, I could not make my way through the book because it was too wordy and pompous, but I did thoroughly enjoy the movie. However, the notion of a 70 -year-old man with a 34-year-old woman was ridiculous! I completely agree that watching middle-aged men lech after younger girls is disgusting.

However, I also believe that love and emotional connectedness can transcend age barriers. So I don't think that we can generalize by saying that it's always a bad thing for an older man to go after younger women are an older women to look for a younger guy. Sometimes two people meet and they just click. Why shouldn't Romantic love be like any other relationship?

I'm 52. My oldest friend will be turning 103 in October (!@!) My youngest friend is about seven. I have friends in their twenties, thirties and forties with whom I am very intimate and close. I also have friends in their sixties and seventies. The dynamics are different for romance but I think that it's possible for people of different age groups to connect. Having said that, I do basically agree that relationship is much more likely to work out when people are somewhere around the same age.

Sigrid

Sparticuss,
I'm not sure how I feel about a male on these boards. In fact it makes me a little uncomfortable. However, you you seem well intentioned and you make some interesting points. I guess another point of view could be a good thing???

I too am offended by "male bashing" which also seems to disturb you. Some of the posts border on that.

However, male bashing may be just the female equivalent of the "female bashing" of a few years ago and even today in many social circles. So if you are to condemn us for blaming the males in our lives for our various problems, you should also condemn men for doing the same, because they do.

I am personally offended when any human is condemned for being a member of some class or group that they are born into and have no control over. It smacks of discrimination and discrimination hurts.
smile

Dear Sparticuss

It is my understanding that the male is misrepresented in society... or is he? How is that? The truth of the male lies within history's pages. His governing of nations, his understanding of social credos, his respect for family and ultimately his connection to the inner man, the indwelling place of wisdom, truth, justice, honour, decency, leadership and awareness of truth.

Based on the above qualities...which I also ascribe to women...do you feel that today's dating scene subscribes to these qualities...or is social commentary and what one calls dating...rather thin on the surface because many of these qualities are lacking....a) on a date, b) within families c) within business d) within politics..... which develop our values.

I would say that the state of this world...perfectly reflects the state of the male mind whose actions are dominated by society's fashion and business credo's, as well as a dominant structured society geared toward Sun Tzu's 'Art of War' principles which are predominantly based on fear...to overtake, to wage war, to dominate.....

To try to overcome another or take advantage of another requires that ONE has fear if one needs to overcome another or manipulate another. It is my estimation that it is fear that drives the dating scene...so how can there be a good outcome...period... without first the inward search as to who and what we are...ie what wisdom do we contain, how much fear is on us and do we project inward fears onto others!

Self-reflection, I believe is a must before one even considers dating! What one ends up with is generally just a reflection of inner angst or inner beauty!

By the way...my book SUNBLOOD: I Lived To Tell the Story has a beautiful understanding of the lost and most beautiful qualities of the male... qualities that cannot survive in a society that does not honour truth, justice, and beauty but lives with spin and lobbyists who decry the very values our societies were built upon in the first place. If you really want a conversation about life and the female angst try reading the book!

I also suggest this for females as well so that they can get a better understanding of the lost qualities within the male, a greater understanding of beauty, for when beauty of the male is understood those qualities may be allowed to be renewed within a society that fears true beauty and inner strength, for society sees beauty's reflection as a mirror that threatens their inner angst, an angst which is much easier to live with...considering complaining and crap are easier dealt with than inspiration to move toward a path of greatness, a path of beauty and of truth and of honour and of justice within one's own actions and beauty! To ultimately face the darkness and fear within oneself!

By the way I'm not a feminist, never have been, although I have no judgement toward feminism..I have always felt that when you take a side you are thus stating that you have an enemy...which denotes one has loss. Loss only comes from within which perpetuates event outside of oneself. What we envision we experience.

What do we want to experience..that is the real question and the journey!

With care
Leigha

Let us hope old Sparticuss is gone for good but if you return, OLD Boy: Bite me!