In recent years I've begun to enjoy doing things alone.

However, I know there are women who don't like to eat out, go to the movies, attend parties, etc. all by themselves.

How do you single women feel about this?

It depends on my mood, and where it is. For instance, it's not that I'd mind going to the movie by myself, but if it was at night, there is a safety factor involved. I don't mind whatsoever eating alone, however, having company is much more enjoyable. There are times though that I enjoy my own company. Especially after a bad blind date! hahah...wait a minute, is there any other kind of blind date? hahahah... Oh Lord, I'm gonna get mail on that statement...

JJ

I dislike eatng alone. I refuse to cook just for myself. At my place, it's Swanson's, Stouffer's, SlimFast, or starve!!! I like to walk and hike alone but enjoy it more if I have someone to walk with.

Well, I guess I haven't embraced this 'alone' state well at all. To some extent, I feel embarassed, or like something is wrong with me since I HAVE to do certain things alone.

I do believe that I'm missing out on lots of things because of my unhealthy attitude toward this single state. There are a few movies that I really want to see. I really need to walk for my health, attend events...all of which I don't because of this.

The holidays are becoming harder and harder. I can easily get/have a date but that has played out since the date is usually someone I've choosen so that I wont be alone, therefore, don't really like.

I think I'll try to do the movie thing, alone one day this week.

Sugaree

Sugaree,
I do go to events here alone if I can because my husband doesn't enjoy them. You can always find someone else who is alone and needs cheering up. Sometimes couples will include me if they know who I am. It gets easier the more you do it.
The first time is really hard. Focus on someone else who is alone instead of thinking all eyes are on me. That was hard too. But be careful too!!!
Maggie

sugaree, you aren't the only one who doesn't like to go alone. I was way too self-concsious to do this several years back. I thought everyone would wonder why I was alone. Doesn't she have friends? You know, that stuff.

But now I say...who cares? I think it comes with age! HA!

For many many years I was a single mom who did things alone or with my sons,then I got remarried (big mistake) and lived to regret it every minute of every day. A business opportunity presented itself that made it necessary for us to be divorced (a good thing) and so we were. That was the answer to my prayers. Unfortunately in order to remain in my home this man began losing one job after another and so I allowed him to stay. I was stupidly being used, again. Well, I finally made a decision and told him to make other arrangements and do it sooner rather than later. I long to be alone again, to eat alone, sleep alone, do everything alone...I can choose the friends I want to be with that way. I joined a small group of Singles for Bible study. To me alone is such a beautiful word meaning many things, like:
A.....affection
L.....luminous
O.....opportunity
N.....nag
E.....exceptional
I will give my affection to whom I please, or not. I will be luminous in my happiness. I will take full advantage of all opportunities with no one to nag at me constantly and my new life shall be an exceptional new adventure in aloneness. Theres more than one way to look at being single ladies...FREEDOM!

chatty, thanks for giving us another perspective. I'm so glad you're getting involved with your church. I know the lord has new things in store for you. When do you start your new job?

It's true. Alone is a frame of mind.
I have been alone when married and I have been alone when single. I have been lonelier with a man right next to me than even when I was new to a town where I knew no one.
I always feared being alone then I encountered loneliness. I looked it square in the face and in prayer I saw God in it and together we stared it down. Now I respect it, but I no longer fear it.
I may at times cry and be afraid, but together me and God will handle what ever comes my way.
smile

BTW, I want to write a book about loneliness. It seems to be one of the most painful of human conditions. I don't know any cures, but I've been researching. However, I have found very little about it in the medical literature, online or at amazon.
I thought it was interesting that when I did an online search, about 90% of the sites were porn. Are we as a nation treating loneliness with anonymous sex? With the internet? With there more lonley people online than elsewhere? Is loneliness synonymous with anonynymity?
I have lived in cities, big and small and it seems to me that the greater the population, the greater the loneliness. Maybe it's the anonynmity that makes us lonely.
Any ideas?
smile

[ August 08, 2004, 03:12 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

Many people look to others to define who they are. They're afraid of the introspection to find and define themself. When one's core is other-based, that person will always need to have the physical presence of other people or they feel alone. Emotional presence is not as important as the physical; these people are "validated" only when someone else pays them attention, whether through anonymous sex or online chat. Left alone with themself, there is nothing.

People who are self-defined are less likely to be lonely, because they always have themself.