I like that Meredith. I think you are right. But all people seem to sometimes experience loneliness, even the most self defined and also the most godly.

Maybe it's not always a bad thing. Maybe like a lot of other emotions, fighting it is what makes it painful. ??

I read some research recently that at least theorized that loneliness may be genetic in origin. Or at least the pain of it.

smile

Smile, I would love to read that article if you recall where it is about loneliness being genetic.

It's interested that you've mentioned this. Recently, my two children went to my home town. One is staying for college. Each time they visited with older relatives, they called me to tell me about the visit. Each were very proud of them, but the constant was that they knew that my children would be since I was. Each of these people have very successful children. They all did it with husband and I did it basically alone. Well, of course God was there.

Speaking of Him, I don't feel so so sad and alone today because of their visit. I have been just as successful w/o a mate. I can actually say that God heard my prayer. He knew my biggest concern. He knew that I was reading all of the crap about how a majority of children w/o a two parent, stable home usually turned out. Today I feel soooo good that the professors and other successful family members in my family have embraced my children and know that they are well on their way to success despite.

Back to what Smile mentioned about this article. I pondered these thoughts all day after speaking with two specific aunts. These two women have been places in their career that many women dream of. Both of them are single. One had 10 McDonald franshises, the other was president of an Ivy league university. Both had been married. Many of my cousins say that I am very much like these women. Is it something about women that reach these heights that men don't like? Or, is it that 'we' see in them the things unlikable?

Sugaree

Sugaree, I'm glad to hear your family was tickled with your children. As a parent, knowing others accept our children gives us the warm fuzzies. Doesn't it?

I have been alone most of my adult life. It's never bothered me to be and do things alone. Even as a child I was very independent and would often choose to play alone vs. in a group (which worried my mother).

I enjoy my solitude. I find that I have many creative outlets that I don't believe would have been explored to the depth they have with a husband and children in the picture.

I do get lonely from time to time, though, more so now that I am in my 40's and have no children. I wonder if when I am elderly (God willing I get there) I will regret not having a family around me.

I don't go to restaurants alone. That's one activity I've never mastered. But I find that I do a lot of things out of necessity that my married women friends wouldn't think of doing without their husbands.

I'm glad this topic is on here, as I don't think being single gets the attention it deserves. There are many benefits to being alone-- for me, anyway. I'm not sure I could or would want to give it up now.

Since this topic is here, I'm going to enter into the survey this month as fav book May Sarton's "Journal of a Solitude"; she talks a lot in her nonfiction books about living her entire life as what she called a "solitary".

Best regards to all,
Kelly

I am almost there once again, alone. I can hardly wait to be alone again. You know to be completely honest I don't believe wde are ever really alone. If one believes in God for instance and Angels etc. also the remnants or spirits of those we loved are always somewhere within us to draw from in times of need. I look forward to cleaning up only after me, cooking what I like, going where I want to go, or not, watching what I like with no excuses. Knowing where something is because no one else moved it, no one eating my food, whatever, all those small things tat seem so large when theres someone else in our space. I adore my sons, well one of them anyway....BUT I have never since number 1 been thrilled with the man I was married to. When this one, number 3 is finally gone, I shall thoroughly enjoy my aloneness...Its been a long time coming. Yes to singles everywhere, rejoice..

My whole life I have been what some might call a charismatic loner (no, don't start running for your guns.) As a child, I wanted to be left alone with my books and my "inventions" but friends would be knocking on the door and Mom would kick me out to play. Honest! ...because I'd always invent new games, or lead forays onto apartment rooftops and past "no trespassing" signs. I never had a lot of friends (because, face it, I was kinda weird) but I always had a devoted "fan club." Still do. Still a reluctant leader, but a leader nonetheless, and finally accepting it and not running away as much.

Which leads us back to the topic:
I have always been perfectly happy by myself. I see myself as "alone" but not lonely. In groups I try to be a team player but I'd rather lead. I'm not afraid to do anything by myself, and I do it.

Which leads us back to the charisma biz:
Sometimes I'm out there doing the Meredith thing, and people seem to follow. Not always, but often enough so I can look at it, detached, and think "here comes the fan club." And I'm happy with that, too. Kinda "go with the flow," whatever.

Would life be different if I were single? Not a whole lot, but there'd be less emotional stress. Maybe more physical stress, though, because I'd have to start grocery shopping and paying the household bills.

Meredith, your life always seems so balanced to me. You must use your alone time to work at that.

In recent years I've enjoyed BEING alone. It wasn't until I got quiet ALONE so I could go inward and learn more about what I'm being called to do. I always thought I had to be "doing". Now I'm trying to enjoy "being"! Make sense?

I'm sure you've had that figured out for years! Live and learn.

Whoa! It's hard to believe I've EVER complained about being alone. I guess having someone coming to stay with you with demands on your privacy and time is much different than being 'single/alone.'

I guess that old cliche' is true, "Watch what you ask for and be specific when you do ask."

I crave to be alone right this moment. Just as I was writing this note, one of my 'houseguest' came in, stood behind me trying to strike up conversation while looking at my screen. YUK! GO AWAY!

I think I've learned my lesson about complaining. If it was meant to be, someone that I genuinely love and care to spend my time with would be here. I'm not ready yet I can see. I think I'd rather be alone, struggling with my one income, happy with my peace of mind, solo.

Did this belong in "A Fine Whine"?

Sugaree
Praying for you and your situation!!
Maggie

sugaree, I'm guessing the clan is still with you?