Mtnstr,
I was in your place15 years ago. When I heard him talk about our wonderful marriage to all his business associates I wondered who he was talking about- it wasn't any marriage I was in!I Just told him one Friday when he found an account I had hidden that I was leaving- we screamed and yelled- my teenaged kids freaked out because for years I didn't even care enough to fight with him.
I left- worked two jobs- got nothing material but my car and my clothes but I got my life and my self respect and my power
I met the love of my life soon after- of course my ex said I had been cheating- even managed to turn my dad against me but you know 23 days after I was divorced I married that man and found out fairy tales do come true!
Good luck, girl-make sure this is the right decision for you then don't look back!!!