Mtnstr52, First of all, welcome to the site! I hope you'll come over to the Welcome forum and introduce yourself there too.

I'm no expert in this field at all, except that I was in the same place a few years ago. The first thing that has to be asked is: Do you still love him? Enough to work it out if he agrees? If not, then that's your answer. If so, then there are options.

A few years ago, I was going through a massive breakdown and could barely function. My marriage was on the rocks. Although my hubby was/is one of the most wonderful men in the world, I was emotionally starving and had totally lost myself through years of "subjecting myself" to his domineering, somewhat controlling (but never abusive) way of doing things. I knew that no matter how much we loved each other, I simply could not survive in the marriage unless things changed drastically.

One day, I sat him down at the kitchen table and point-blank told him that unless he was willing to work with me to change this marriage, I would not be able to stay. He knew I still loved him deeply, but was very serious...that I was on the verge of walking out that door and never coming back.

It's been a long road, and we're still not fully there in terms of my emotional needs being met, but as tough as the journey has been, it's been worth it hanging in there. He's changing, growing, evolving, as am I, and we're meeting each other half way most of the time now, negotiating ways and attitudes where both of us come out "winning" what we need and want out of this marriage.

However, it would never have been possible without the love that still kindled between us. That's the only glue that's been able to keep me from walking out the door many times. Without love, there really is no reason to stay, and no foundation on which to rebuild.

There are so many other wise women here. Hopefully more will chime in with their experiences and insights.