Misfire, thank you for updating us. It sounds like your decision panned out for all concerned. Maybe you need to call another family meeting to say how pleased you are that things are finally working out better. It might get everyone thinking and trying a little harder all over again.
chick

Thanks chicadee --- we have had a follow-up meeting.

And, I feel like we're all closer to each other now. It's good to feel appreciated and loved.

It's the best feeling in the world!

Growing up my dad & I fought like cats & dogs!!!
We were so alike it was scary!!!!

When I turned 17/18 our relationship began to get better. Little did I know I would only have 5 more years with him.

Just when we were beginning to relate like adults, I lost him to lung cancer. Of course all those times fighting--telling him I hated him--it all came back to haunt me.

But I did tell him I loved him & was sorry. And he cried.

It will be 17 years this August.

Kay B, aren't you glad you had the presence of mind to do so before he died? Even though some people have to suffer through illnes and finanlly die, I sometimes think it gives loved ones a chance to speak truthfully and affirm the dying. I would hate the thougth of someone dropping dead and not having had a chance to ask forgiveness, or affirm thier lives. I know it happens every day. I guess this is why it's so important to live with right relationships. Then we don't have to worry about any of this crap.

Misfire, I'm so glad everything is out in the open. Are the girls doing things with their dad these days?

My Dad was a wonderful, gentle, loving father, but sadly, he and I barely knew each other during my teenage years. That painful estrangement lasted many years, until I finally wrote him a letter in my late-20's, pouring out my hurt and confusion over what I had always perceived to be his lack of interest and any outward expression of affection. He wrote me back a beautiful letter, explaining things from his perspective, and it opened my eyes to how I had misinterpreted his behaviour (and feelings for me) all those years.

After that heart-to-heart exchange, we grew very close and enjoyed a warm and wonderful relationship with each other. I'm forever grateful for those years with him, but often saddened by all those unnecessarily wasted years. It's difficult not to think about how radically different my life would have been if we had dared to have that heart-to-heart chat much earlier in my life. It's moot, and we can't go back, I am who I am and it's okay; but now I just hate to see the same sort of misunderstandings estrange other daughters from their fathers.

I can identify with your situation Eagle Heart. My relationship with my Dad was "at a distance" throughout my childhood and teens....it wasn't until I was an adult that we became close. He had been raised by his grandparents as his parents both died VERY young and his grandparents weren't "outwardly emotional" people - they were very reserved and didn't hug or show affection. He loved them and felt their love but not in the "physical" way. That's how I was raised by him....and it was something I overcame in my own way as a teen and adult.

But LATE in his life, he became the best hugger around....and we really were quite inseparable. I enjoyed taking care of him and learning all the interesting things there were to know about his early life. He'd never felt comfortable sharing those things before his last years I guess.

It is that "later in life" Dad that I remember now. We were simply the very best of friends and as close as a Dad and daughter could be.....I cherish that.

I found my Dad, after a long search when I was 40 plus. We jam packed a "lifetime lost" into three short years before he passed away.
It is never too late to call Dad and get together to make up for lost time. If anyone is thinking about it? Do it today for tomorrow may be too late!

chick

To answer your question Dotsie --

Although the girls haven't asked for their father's "help" with anything, we're doing things together this week because we're all on vacation together at Fenwick Island. We're not doing much of anything -- swimming, eating out, surfing the Web, but we're doing it together and haven't had any upsetness yet. Today, my husband and older daughter are going up to Philly/NJ together. He has a business meeting in Philly tomorrow and my daughter is meeting up with family friends and joining them on a trip to Cape Cod.

All things considered, life has improved in our family and, I'm thankful for it.

Misfire, keep enjoying your vacation, and most importantly...your family!

Eagle, Pam and Chick, maybe we should start a topic about father and daughters from our generation.