I didn't want to post over this very important topic so I started another one about OUR fathers and their relationship with US. It is titled fathers, daughters, and husbands.

Sounds like we all have a lot to discuss about our fathers as well as the fathers of our children.
smile

[ August 01, 2005, 10:27 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

Do we choose men who are like our fathers?

Hmmm --- let me think now --- my father was a mechanical engineer who put himself through college, my husband is a mechanical engineer who put himself through college. My mother and father dated for 5 years before they married, my husband and I dated for 8 years before we married. Because of my mother's depression, my father learned about relationships and the importance of talking, because of my depression, my husband has become savvy about relationships and the importance of talking. My father was a reliable loving man who strived to provide a better life for his family, my husband, well, it goes without saying.

Hi y'all, the pattern of marrying a partner who is like our father is a topic I cover heavily in my book. We are not only looking for obvious similarities, but the similarity of emotions we feel when in their company. Here's a passage from my book, and Todd was the man who married me (I was too passive) who was 18 years older than me and JUST LIKE MY FATHER: ***As I was responding to my counselor, I recognized the connection between my real father and my husband. There were obvious similarities between my father and Todd: My father liked country music, guns, and unfiltered cigarettes. There were also subtle similarities: Todd teased me like my father had and stirred sensations in the pit of my stomach, just like my father had. I was confused by Todd’s attention even as I craved affection, the same as with my father.***My now husband is not like my father or step father at all and I am not like the child I was or the young adult who got married to an older man. I noticed that my brothers' first wives are like my mother! Love and Light, Lynn

Hi, here's another paragraph on the topic. Karen was my counselor.***Karen remarked, “You’re becoming more aware of patterns that pertained to your husband and family. It’s not unusual to do things as we saw them done.”
“Oh, I get it,” I responded. “Todd was the perfect pick for perpetuating passivity.”***

What I am heartened about on this thread is that there are many of you who had GOOD relationships with your fathers. I'm glad to hear of these! Okay, off with my head now, I already had my chance as featured author. But this thread obviously struck a chord with me! LLL

My daughter is coming home from a 9-day trip today and my husband is coming home from a 4-day business trip tonight.

Wish us luck as the whole family will be back together again.

My mantra will be: "It's not my job to be the peacemaker ... it's not my job to be the peacemaker."