When my husband retired, which was a joke because he started working again after one year, we were suddenly together all the time and started getting on each others nerves. He was used to having an executive assistant that did everything for him and poor man, how confused he was to think I would take her place. He also didn't realize I had my own life. What's for lunch? I don't know, what are YOU fixing?

Just recently, we found a joint passion. I'm working on my family tree and my gg grandfather died in the Civil War and my husband is a nut on that war so we're taking a trip to the battle field where he died. Now, I'm a nut on this war. So, maybe you could find a passion that both of you share. What does he read or watch on tv? My husband has more videos on wars than anyone I know. This has really helped our marriage.

I have to mention chatty's post about the missing thong. Way too funny!

msdiana, have you told him how you feel with compassion in your voice? Sometimes our delivery is so important. Instead of "Why dont' you want to do anything these days?" , how about "Honey, I'm getting concerned because you don't seem to want to do anything lately."

Be sure to let him know you are getting concerned. IS there anything you've always wanted to do together, but haven't been able to because of the children? Maybe now's the time to pursue it.

Please keep taking to us about this and we'll help you try to get it resolved.

Wow, I was on vacation but this thread is the one that really took a trip...LOL...anyway, things remain the same, great on the surface, but I know he still chats with her...finally talked to a friend about it...it always comes down to weighing the good against the bad and it really does lean way on the good side, yet I can still really flip out when I let myself think about it.

Anyway, the thong issue....who would ever want to wear them? I don't for a minute believe anyone who says they are comfortable...I have yet to try one since I am not 16 and have a belly...where would that go???

I hate to sound judgemental, but I don't understand how a mother could let her underage daughter wear provocative clothes and think it's cute..don't you realize what the men and boys are thinking when they see it? doesn't that bother you? but it's all part of the sexualizing of our children and yes the interent is such a dangerous thing for kids... I mean, look at all the trouble that supposed adults get into on it!!!

Anyway, thanks again for the posts.

Blue66, This entire situation with your meandering husband is wrong, wrong, wrong. You told him how you feel, how it hurts you and still he chats with another woman, maybe more who knows? You said the good outweighs the bad yet I wonder what you consider is the good?? In a marriage another woman is another woman whether he chats on line, on the phone, to her face or just drools over her picture, any of this is cheating, taking time away from you and the relationship to spend it with another woman. I hope you remain here at the BWS site as well I have a feeling you're going to need all the friends you have before long when chatting isn't enough for this cheat... Oh and I agree with you about the thong thing, the way they cover why wear anything at all????

I should mention that my daughter is in her 30's, not a teenager or young girl.

P.S. Went shopping today and bought 10 pairs of thong underwear. They were on sale!

Sew them all together and you could possibly make ME one pair of undies.

JJ

Oh JJ, what am I going to do with you? You are such a class act.

I went shopping yesterday, first time in maybe 6 months, and bought 3 bras. I wanted something cute and pretty, but the only ones that fit were those industrial strength jobbies with the words "18-hour" in their name. At least I got different colors (black, beige, taupe, zzzzzzzzzzz)