Originally posted by BLUE66:
Thanks to all for caring.Chatty, I like your motto, when in doubt, do nothing!!
>>>> I agree with Chatty that you should do nothing until YOU are ready. And in the meantime, you are being very wise. You are consulting your boomer friends for additional viewpoints and consulting a therapist for strength. And you are not jumping into anything. That makes a lot of sense to me.

I have been in therapy in the past and have gone again for this new thing. I do have issues of my own,
>>>> We all have issues. The question is, Do your issues directly result in his continued pursuit of this internet relationship?

but always get to the point in counseling that HE really needs to come, too, which I will push for next month.
>>>> Is there a reason to wait? It sounds as if you are expecting him to refuse.

I asked him again last night"What do you talk about with her!! and he refuses to answer
>>>> By marrying you, he forfeited his right to refuse to answer such an important question? He fofeited his right to hurt you by not answsering? And most important he forfeited the right to put any other relationship before his relationship with you?
As his wife you have the right to view his internet and email and he should be able to view yours?

which to me means that what they talk about is not appropriate. But he is really good to me and I know he loves me
>>>> Maybe you could list the ways he is good to you and shows his love then list the ways he hurts you and see how they balance out.

and again, it's not like he goes anywhere so there isnt' physical cheating,
>>>> Is physical cheating the only way to cheat? Is it even the most hurtful?

but it's so hard not to think that anytime I might annoy him he'll discuss it with her, etc.
>>> Does he understand how difficult that must be for you?

I did ask him why she would still email him when she knows that it hurts me. She's supposedly married...
>>>> The fact that 'she' emails your husband is not your problem. It's an issue for 'her' and her husband. You and your husband must deal with why he is reading and responding to her email when he knows it hurts you.

what comes around, someday someone will hurt her, too. IT's easy to say things are innocent when you are not the injured party.
>>>> This woman and your husband are guilty of causing you pain. There is nothing innocent about intentionally hurting one of God's children.
We are all God's children. It must cause Him to cry when we hurt each other and when we hurt ourselves.
I will pray for your situation.
smile
>>>>

[ June 19, 2005, 07:25 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]