Blue, God bless you for having the guts to share this very personal issue and how you feel about it. I can tell this isn't what you had in mind when you committed to marriage. It's so hard when our lives turn out differetnly than planned.

Some of the other women in here will tell you that any time a guy points the finger at you and becomes defensive, he's the cause.

I don't know if he'd agree to therapy. Even if he doesn't, I think you should try to find a professional to talk with. Therapists are so good at uncovering the truth in relationships. A therapist will also help build your confidence, help you see things clearly, and make a plan for your future, with or without him.

Please take care of YOU!