I am not the owner of this forum and don't pretend to be. But in Dotsie's absence today, I'm going to say this for the benefit of EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THIS FORUM.

I'm not picking on anyone either. If you think I am, then you are wrong and are probably just a bit dog barking. After what I've read here this week and last week, I've just had enough! From the emails I've had, other members have too.

After I say this, you can and probably will attack me but I'm a big girl and can take it. Bring it on. I don't give a rip. I'm so sick of the bickering! Good Lord women. This reminds me of junior high.

Listen up ladies, STOP the bickering. If it doesn't stop here and now, this forum will go away and cease to exist. Is that what you want? Do you know how close that is to happening?

State your opinions and do so glady! This is what Boomer Women Speak is all about. You have not only tried, encouraged, and drawn people out to argue and fight, but once they stop, you've tried to keep it going.

When someone has their say, let it be. That is their opinion. Give yours. Both are valuable, and in some cases, invaluable to someone needing to hear it.

WE ALL HAVE A VOICE. ALL OF US.

Which part of OUR VOICES do you not get?

Am I mad? Damn straight. I've had it!

People are leaving the this forum right and left because of all of the fighting and griping of a small number of people. I know because they tell me. Is this what you want to happen?

For those of us who would like to have a place to come and share, to heal, to love, to form new friendships...well, it's just not happening and now people, especially new members, are afraid to speak out.

The fighting and bitching at each other has gotten out of control. Its going on all over the boards, too.

STOP IT!

Can I say that? You bet I can. Now I am NOT pointing fingers or taking sides or anything else but sick and tired of reading where people are waving fingers and shouting and name calling and good Lord, using emotional blackmail to hurt others publicly.

I will tell you this, if it doesn't cease and cease now, Dotsie will and SHOULD pull the plug on this forum and then what?

Ladies...remember why we are here? Just because someone's opinion differs from your own doesn't make you OR them RIGHT! It makes you different...

If you can't get along, then get along I say! Its that simple.

Who am I to tell you all this? I'll tell you who I am.

I am your friend, that's who. I'm someone who cares deeply for this forum and dares to say to anyone who would bring trouble, heartache, and misery to others to stop it.

I'm a member, one of the first of BOOMER WOMEN SPEAK and I love each and every person in it. EVERYONE. Every single one of you.

I don't want to see anyone leave with hurt feelings, and I don't want to see others bully them into doing so. I don't want to see anyone leave at all! Stay! Help each other, share, bond.

It is great we have standards in our lives that we live by, it wonderful that we have views that differ, but for the love of Mike, don't berate someone else because theirs differs from your own. Isn't that what this forum is all about?

People are leaving here right and left and guess what...........this one single thing is the reason. They are tired of the fighting and bickering displayed here.

You know what else? I am too. Sick of it that is, but I ain't leaving. I love this place and I'm speaking my piece, which is usually done in humor and love and light. Well tonight it isn't. Tonight I am saying this.

GO BACK AND READ THE MISSION STATEMENT.

I read today, just TODAY in the Bible where it said the greatest commandments are:

Never have any other Gods before me, and
Love thy neighbor as thy self.

Whether or not you believe in the Bible isn't the point here ladies. But loving your neighbor is.

If we did that, then there wouldn't be any bickering. AND THAT....is what this forum is all about.

Capish?

JJ

Well-said, Jawjaw. Thank you for having the courage and clarity to post this.

As you always do, JJ my friend, you've "told it like it is". I have sat back and FELT this way for a while - as Meredith said, thanks to you for having the courage to SAY it on the forum! This confrontational attitude that's making itself known is precisely why I visit and post so infrequently and it's made me sad. We are all entitled to our opinions but that's just what they are - - - opinions. For people to express that and be argued with is just plain off base PERIOD.

Hugs to my Boomer sisters.....and let's get back to that "sisterly" atmosphere ladies. I miss that.....a lot.

Thanks queenie for your words in my absence.

I find it amazing to hop from forum to forum and see completely differing tones, attitudes, etc. Personally, I like the ones that are building others up. That's the intent of the site. Let's stick with it.

Thank you Georgia for your wisdom and saying what we have all been thinking. May I add that conflict is inevitable in our lives. We feel conflicted over a choice we must make, and the conflict is within. We feel strongly about a decision we must make, which sometimes puts us in conflict with our peers.

Some of us believe that there are only two options when conflict arises. We must either roar like a lion and impose our will or back off like a sheep and give in (and subtly try to impose our will.) Neither choice has much to say for it.

Thank goodness we have another option. We can check out what is going on inside of us. We can listen to what others are saying. We can get clear with ourselves and see what we have to learn. Unfortunately conflict is inevitable where as fighting is a choice. Please remember this my sisters, because there are really only
three things in human life are important:
The first is to be kind....
The second is to be kind....
And the third is to be kind....

Wise words Chatty!

chatty, I am goign to have to send you a copy of yesterday's sermon about the MAtthew 18 way. This is exactly what it was about. The minister shared all the ways we react to conflict. Then she shared Christ's way of dealing with conflict. I have to see if I can get a copy because she was a visiting minister...and she was awesome.

Dotsie, Matthew 18 was our reading in church yesterday as well. The sermon was all about love, and was it ever what I personally needed to hear. Very timely, with practical insights for how to live authentic love in today's current world environment. It seemed to touch everyone's hearts, especially since it and the entire service was summed up in that song:

Jesus bids us shine with a pure clear light,
like a little candle burning in the night
In this world of darkness,
So let us shine
You in your small corner
And I in mine.

My apologies if I seemed to have roared. I was not trying to roar. I was defending a position where I have a unique view from. I was simply hurt to see what I saw. But, like you all have said, the mission is to share and enlighten one another. We can only be who we are, right? Well, I don't agree with my last statement but in the name of keeping the peace, I will try not to be so passionate about 'this seat' I sit in where my perspective is quite different.

Thanks, JJ, for keeping order and helping to shut the bickerers up.

I wasn't trying to "shut" anyone up Sug...you missed the point.

I was trying to simply ask everyone posting in heated topics to search their hearts and before they replied, stop and think and try to remember to post with love.

That's all. Plain and simple. Nothing pretty, nothing elaborate, just please stop and think.

JJ