Lynn, I second what the queen says. Any chance of sharing more of those at sea adventures? Please tell us what you're doing since leaving your job in the spring...

Also, I just want eveyone to know that I have poured my heart and soul into a post and never had a response. It happens. We can't take it personally. If we really need a reply we can simply bring the topic up again and share that we would love a little feedback.

I focus on what's good in these forums. I try hard to ignore the bad because there is truly so little. What we post must be of interest, and helpful to women because this site is now receiving over a million hits for every 30 day period. Give yourselves a pat on the back for being so brilliant...

I don't think I will be going to sea in the forums any time soon. But thanks for asking.

Smile- your pm is full. I tried to reply.

Thank you all for taking the time to let me know that all is well. I will take it slow.

And I don't even know how you all manipulate the topics and bring them back up etc. I just kinda flow with the conversation as someone put it and you are right, we don't have the opportunity to read someones's body language to see if we are received OK. In cyberspace, we can easily feel ignored but a smile across the room may have been enough. I will try to keep in mind that we are having a conversation and we would not exlcude someone in the room unless we wanted them to leave so we need to find a way to do that in cyberspace. Good point that I will try to fulfill.

Thank you again,
Lynn

I think we should all remember, people are NOT all alike. Some people may come to the forum and NOT be ready to accept help in any form, or be too depressed (needing a professional), or have troubles (mentally or different) we do not know about that we cannot help with, them being in a different place and mind set. Helping other is great, but you are going to find those individuals who CHOSE not to be helped or have a personality that does not want help as the board grows. People are going to come and go for all types of reasons. Growing Pains! Sometimes it is just their personiality. I hate admitting this also (I love helping others, always have), but I am on several poetry boards, and it happens, even there! Life experience has taught me this as it has many of you!

No one on this board did anything WRONG and might NOT have ever been able to do anything RIGHT for HER. I do not like to hear the what ifs or buts from all of you! Some poeple can't be helped, some people do not want to be helped. How hard do you try? When is enough enough? Personally, I too subscribe to if someone is getting unusually upset, it raises a red flag, and I either do not post, or make one try. I usually get the feel real quick if I can help. If it doesn't work time and again, reply after reply from them and their reaction to others, something is definately wrong with that person, and they need something more than a board to post to.

Our prayer for her is the best thing that can be done at that point, and maybe changing the subject to happier subjects. You may not agree, but controversary never gets anyone anywhere, especially if something is wrong with someone and you cannot help. No one should feel guilty, can't save the world, no matter how hard you try! Believe you me, I have tried! Just my opinion!

As the rules were stated clearly when I joined, so are they stated for everyone! If she isn't dealing well on this board, chances she isn't dealing well in life and needs much more than we can give her. Sad, but true! My opinion!

Cheer up! You are a great group of woman, or I wouldn't waste my time with you! LOLOL

Can we drop this topic, please? It's beginning to smack of gossip for the one who left. I don't think that is fair. Okay...let's all let it go.

Dianne,

Before this topic is dropped, could I say but a few (ok I can never say a "few" of anything) words?

I was struck by what Lynn said in the beginning. I too, have noticed that this is certainly a culture in some stage of development (Lynn, I'd like to read that chapter - chapter of what?) I've not been here long enough to know how far along this "culture' is, but already I see there is some sort of "order". One theme that is definitley (sp? where is my dictionary, I've just moved ) present is that of Christianity. I've noticed this on many many occasions - at first I wasn't aware of this, but after reading just a few posts, I began to realize. I choose to not divulge my personal religious choice here (well, I have spoken of Blessings and perhaps maybe God {but it does not disturb me that some may call Her [men don't seem to be able to run the world very well, how can they run the universe?]something different, maybe Allah or Mother Earth}) because I don't want to disrupt the flow of good feelings. But I do see that this could cause some people problems. I was not here yet to be privvy to the Ladybug thing, but from what I could gather , this disturbed many. In "real life" these problems occur spontaneously and consistently. From what I have learned every culture has outcasts or people who don't "fit in". Look at America - the Katrina disaster which exposed our class system - America has ignored these "poor' people and can't even have them in their vocabulary of thoughts. And believe me they don't just exist in Louisiana. I believe that our language is paramount here. And this forum is testament of that. As some have said, we cannot see body language or smiles - frowns or confusion on faces. So language and how we use it is the only thing we have to make sense of things. (How important is language then? I hope if no one understands anything else about these forums, they will understand the importance of language - our words and how we use them have a profound effect on each other). It's my hope that we all, no matter where in the world we might call home, have come to the place where we can rise above the idea that outcasts are a permanent part of our society. Because together we can change this.

So. I am saying that I believe we can no longer ignore the outcasts (for whatever reason they are considered outcasts)in our world or in this forum. Maybe that's too strong a word for this forum - maybe I should say people with differing ideas.

One other thing - there was a thread where many of us were giving advice to another, including myself. But on reflection, I thought that maybe people were being too harsh with this person. We all have made mistakes in love and life and sometimes because of the great hurt it caused us, we are all the more forceful in our opinions about a similar event. But remember, we were slow to heal and needed a soft place to land. So I hope that we can all keep these thoughts in mind and not alienate anyone who really needs us.
And if we can see that someone needs more help than mere conversation can do, we need to say so. Is there a way that we could compile a list of therapists by area so that women could find ready help if they need it? Or at least assist them in some way?

I am still pleased to be a part of this - actually, I think it is an important bit of research on many levels and a whole lot of information could be derived for the benefit of all.....And hey, didn't we used to give the sign of peace? Or what was that tie/dye all about? And if you guys could see the afro I had in the 60's, me being pasty white and all you would LOL (or, Learning Odd Language).

Searcher

Yes, before we drop this topic I would have said what Eagle said to Lynn "I usually saw you as being in deep conversation with others here and often didn't want to intrude, especially on topics that I have no clue about" I come to BWS now as my reward for accomplishing what I "should" during the day. I am not able to read every post and respond. I am glad for Chatty taking note of what did not get a response. I too have felt that I killed a topic because I was the last one who posted on that subject. It's awful to think that anyone has felt invisible. Love and Light Lynn

I did not know we could do this that Eagle posted: "Having said that, I think that when a person leaves and takes their posts with them, it's possibly indicative of the anger and hurt they feel, but taking EVERYONE's posts (i.e., the entire thread) with them" I thought we could only delete our own posts through edit. Please advise. Thanks LLL

Western, this is my first fall in CO too. I love it here. I am so happy to be in CO. I'm in the springs, where are you? LLL

Lynn,

If a person starts a thread, and then deleates their posts - the whole thread goes away. IT is a technical glitch with the system. I talked to ladybug during/after this event, and she was VERY sorry that everyone else's post went away also. That wasn't her intention.

Good to see you back around!

danita

I didn't mean to stop posting about forum rules, etc. I just didn't want to appear as gossiping about someone after they left.