Hi ~

Maybe this is for Dotsie?

I see there are forum sections on family, friends, spirituality and the such. I also found the remodeling/redecorating title.

Why not a section devoted to the home? It is such an integral part of the family, the individual and the spirit.

I'd love to know from you ladies how you feel about your homes.

So many people view it from a decorating only perspective.
Have you ever acknowledged it from a spiritual (not necessarily religious) perspective?

Do you LOVE living in your space called home?

Are you 100% complete with your space....in all aspects of your senses? (visual, fragrance, sounds, textures, etc.)

Have you even thought about your home in this manner?

This is obviously a passion of mine and I'm curious about how others view their homes - setting decorating aside, though it is a key part of the whole package.

Thanks!

We do have one on decorating and remodeling. Maybe you could start a topic on this there.

I see what you mean Stacy M and in answer to the question of home. My home is my sanctuary, I feel safe, secure and peaceful there. When I was hospitalized awhile back I longed for the comfort of my own bed, my own space. My blood pressure which was sky high went down to normal a couple hours after I arrived home and walked around soaking up the familiarity of my space. When I truly care about someone I invite them into my home and hope they feel the warmth and love that lives there. My house is a home....

I love my home too. My daughter calls it the "Bog" because people come and never want to leave. It is surrounded by acres of huge trees and a creek. It is quiet and fills me with peace.
smile

I too love living in my home....I've lived in a variety of "spaces" in my life time but no matter how small or large or old or new, I've made it my very own place where I can be ME. I too feel safe, secure, and at peace in my homes - and while I may not have always had that "comfort" in my hectic life OUTSIDE my home, I have always had it IN my home.

I love my home and it's the first one I've owned as a single woman. I was still married to #2 when I moved into my house, we were in the process of divorcing. When I lived at his house I always felt like an outsider. He didn't even want me to move pictures and I never felt like I belonged there. The day I closed, I walked into my home for the first time and the feeling I had was SO GOOD! Even though I had no furniture and it needed a lot of work, I couldn't go back and spend the night at his house. I slept on the floor and it was the best night ever!

Daisygirl

Daisygirl you really made that house a home, what a wonderful story....

In reply to all your responses, do you think there are women out in the world who want this, but are having difficulty achieving it?

If so, I'm wondering if they would hire me as a Home Coach? (A business idea I am toying with.)

I have loved each of my homes although all have been very different. They were my "perfect home" at the time.

I have lived aboard a traditional sailing ship, a winnebago, a coverted barn, a house in the woods and now my little cottage on the edge of town. I loved every one of them but this one suits my family perfectly "at this time". It is perfect for us and feels so comfy and kinda sprawly.

Stacy, I don't know if a home coach is something people would gravitate to. Isn't the whole idea to be yours? How could someone else coach you into making a home? A beautiful house yes, but what goes into the space is so personal and intangible how could you coach that?

What are you thinking it would entail?

Lynn

My father was an Army officer so we moved a lot while I was growing up. My mother made each new place a 'home' right away. Everything else was brand new, but when I went into our newest house it was always familiar in a 'homey' way because of familiar things, favorite smells of cooking and the same sense of security.

As an adult I have endeavored to do the same with each structure my family has occupied, and I certainly feel a sense of security, peace and comfort in my home. And after the major move and change of life-style I've just undergone, I think this says a lot!!

Stacy, I agree with Lynn that it would be shaky to try to be a 'Home Coach' though I admire the thought, generosity and compassioin you show. From my point of view, it would be a wonderful forum, however; interested women can write - and read - about how others feel and what they do and pick and choose ideas and share experiences and feelings - I love this concept!

Dreamer

I love this topic because I love our home. I enjoy hearing how much other boomer women lovve their nests too. I think it would be so much fun for all of us to experience one another's hospitality. Wouldn't that be wild?

My love of home goes back to my childhood. Seven of us lived in a three bedroom house with only one bath. I don't know how we did it but we did. I recall us waiting our turns for the bathroom every morning before school. The house was full to the brim with all of our belongings, and it was jam-packed with love.

Our house was referred to as Grand Central because kids were forever coming and going. Summers and weekends found kids sleeping over, sharing meals, playing games inside and out, doing puzzles with Mom, you name it.

I'm not sure that it was intentional, but our home has become very similar. The phone is forever ringing, people come unannounced and I love it.

Fun topic!

Another part of loving home is loving to feed people. Anyone else like to feed poeple? I know chatty does.

Could you explain what you would do as a Home Coach? By email, pictures sent. It would have to be local, right?

I love to feel people, too! Even though my kids are grown I still keep my freezer full of pre-made and pre-baked goodies for friends who drop in, and when my kids do come here to visit they know they will find things they love! It seems to me to be a good way to show love - by always being prepared and ready to share - without being overbearing!

My original idea of becoming a Home Coach came from a seminar I am taking with Landmark Education.

The course is designed to "teach" us how to complete goals with velocity while experiencing breakthroughs.

So many people in my course are doing projects that encompass cleaning up the clutter in their homes. It's really an integrity issue for them. A gal in the course and I talked at length about this. She watches the HGTV shows about getting organized and noticed that if she were to have that done for her, it would be difficult to maintain. I've also watched Oprah episodes of women who got organized and in a follow-up show, they hadn't maintained it.

I feel that if people wanted to do the organizing themself I could be a supporting coach. We would set up a once per week call when they would share their goals with me and talk about what goals didn't get completed from the previous week (around the house). In their speaking I could listen for clues to tell us what's going on to have them do or not do what they set out to. The intention is that this lead to a breakthrough for my client.

For the people who, like myself, aren't interested in the typical interior designer type, they could have me make a home visit to give my opinion on a problem area in the home or to have me validate their choices and selections. I do this with my mother-in-law. She has many ideas for her home, but is not confident about most. She runs them by me and I give her my opinion, while still being aware of her desires.

Some of this eludes to feng shui, which is something I think holds some truth. All spaces have energy....good and bad.....and that energy can be redirected.

From all your replies, it's obvious that you have your "homes in order". Where are the women that don't? Not on this site?

Stacy, now that you m eniton the clutter component it makes perfect sense. I can't stand clutter. It makes me feel unsettled. I have a hard time resting in a room if there is too much stuff sitting around. I have to put it away before I can sit still.

What are you doing to pursue this dream?

Stacy's idea is to come into a person's house - and help them make it a home. Not everybody has that gift (of making their own digs homey).

She doesn't want to come in and "steam roller" them (like some of the ones on t.v. do)

But, to gently guide them. To help them use what they have to create the kind of envirnoment they want their home to be.

It will be an awesome service!

d.

I just had an idea! You coulg be a "home stager." Realtors in my area use them a lot and pay $50 per hour. You go in and move furniture around, get rid of clutter and make the home as presentable as it can be to get it ready for an open house or to put on the market. Would something like that interest you?

Not a bad idea but you need to have a great decorating talent or you'll do alot of work for nothing....could be fun though!

Hi!
I just joined this forum & am happy to have found it!
I just wanted to reply that I LOVE my home & my space. I feel myself instantly relax as soon as I drive down my block. Maybe its familiarity, after living here for 18 years. My home needs a little cosmetic work in some rooms but generally, I love being home and when I'm out having fun, Ilove the home I come to!

Hello Alana, I'm not usually on the welcome committee, but I happened to see that you just joined and this is your first post, so a big WELCOME. Where in NY are you? I've been all over that state. I've never lived in one place for as long as you! Love and Light, Lynn

Hi Lynn!
Thanks for responding to my first post. I'm still a little confused as to how to post a message!
Anyway, I live in the eastern part of Long Island, NY. I've done some traveling but if not for the taxes & traffic, I LOVE Long Island. We're minutes away from the beach and only about an hour from Manhattan.
I find it ironic that you responded because I see from your post that you are a survivor. I too am a surviver of trauma and abuse. Many years of hard work in counseling have allowed me to be kind to myself and really enjoy who I am (if I may say so). I'll have to read your book.
Thanks for sharing!
Alana

Dreamer wrote: "I love to feel people, too!" Well that is very interesting....
I look at my home in terms of housing body, mind, spirit. I do like elements of Feng Shui. I think a home coach, or a stager, is a good idea. Just yesterday a friend asked if she could pay me to use my organizational skills on her house. She wants to de-clutter. She has a "back room" she wants to make into her space. I told her not to call it the "back room" but to call it a sanctuary. Otherwise, the "back room" will always take a back seat or be on the back burner. I am careful of what we call our rooms. For example, we had a recreation room which was called the rec room. (wreck room) I decided we should call it the play room, otherwise we would always have a room that was a wreck. I'm like dotsie, I can't rest until the room is clean and clear. It helps me to clear my mind if my space is clear. We are living in an apartment while our house is being built. LLL

I'm not sure if this ties in here, but it seems somewhat related. As some of you know, hubby and I have been trekking back and forth to Montreal to help renovate his daughter's basement. While there, using her computer to get to this site, I found it almost impossible to think clearly enough to write. I don't know if it was the mess, clutter, or aching muscles from all the hard work, but the whole time I was on her computer, I was too brainfogged to respond well. As soon as I got home, the brainfog cleared, and the thoughts began flowing freely again.

I love my home. My entire house is sanctuary. Home is where I'm most loved, where I'm most me, where I'm most contented, and where I'm most safe. We've made it that way, deliberately.

Everything that's hanging on our walls is either a picture of family, a picture painted by family (including the bathroom's framed pictures painted by our 4-yr-old granddaughter), or things given to us as gifts by family/close friends. Every knickknack on the shelves is a gift that has been give to us by children, family and friends. Some of them are downright ugly, but they radiate the love and care of the beloved persons who took the time to pick them out and give them to us as gifts over the years. Thus we are totally surrounded by family and love. And that for me is what makes this tiny house our sanctuary and home.

Eagle Heart,

Do you mean you were Bumfuzzled?

And I have to tell you that for as long as I can remember, I get jet lag (or bumfuzzlement) if I'm riding in the car for more than 2 hours. I don't know what I am supposed to do next, so I just walk around and walk around.

So how far is Montreal?

Searcher

Bumfuzzled

Exactly! Couldn't have put it better!

Montreal is about 2 hours from Ottawa, when you count in the heavy traffic at all of the many bridges you have to cross to get to her house on the other side of Montreal.

But we travel a lot. Most of our family visits entail anywhere from 6 to 15 hour drives. We travel well together, with good music and easy-going conversations to fill in the hours. The journeying is usually an enjoyable part of the vacation.

Part of the bumfuzzlement could have come from inhaling all that plaster dust. But then that doesn't explain the other too-numerous-to-mention-here-even-if-I-am-notoriously-long-winded episodes of bumfuzzlement.

Lynn 329, when I saw that typo I made I hoped no one else would notice it....but with so many intelligent and intellectual women reading the postings on this site I knew it would be discovered!! I do love to FEED people - cook and bake for them!! I hope I will learn to take the time to read what I've typed before I hit "add reply" !

Well I suppose we just suffer similar ailments. By the way, who was it who coined that word? Must give credit where credit is due. But did she get a patent on it? If not, it's OURS now!!! Finders keepers, losers, weepers.

But I am also thinking you were TIRED , you're getting to the age where all this work/travel is getting to you ! And when I AM TIRED, my brain is the first to go...Just a thought.

I woke up 6am after only 5 hours sleep, dealt with on/off rain at the Farmers' Market all day, and I am TIRED! I can think OK, but I have trouble speaking. My verbal skills have bumfuzzlebobblubumum-ed.

Dreamer, I got a kick out of your typo. At first I thought you were serious. Like you enjoyed rubbing soemone's back, or hugging your guests, But that was a quick thought.

Welcome Alana. You should read Lynn's book. She sucks you right into her story.

Eagle, I loved hearing how you and your hubby enjoy traveling together. Maybe all these boomer prayers are helping.

I also have a hard time using other computers. Whenever we're away and I need to post I have the hardest time getting started. What's up with that?

Welcome Alana. So glad you've found us. Do jump right in and post away! I think you'll love this place.

JJ

Dreamer, I thought "feel" was the word you actually meant to use too...I thought you were speaking intuitively. Intuitives are forever "feeling" people in their surroundings.

Searcher, if I remember correctly, "Bumfuzzled" was first used here a few weeks ago by Kygirl. She's from the Niagara region here in Canada, in fact, the very same little village/town where my father grew up! How's that for coincidence! She hasn't been around lately but I know she's been busy making grape jelly and tomato juice.

Meredith, LOL, great word, but I doubt that I'd be able to spell it the same way twice! Especially early in the morning or late at night.

Alana, welcome! I hope you find this to be a gentle home-away-from-home. I read Lynn's book and highly recommend it...she's a phenomenal woman!

Alna,
Welcome, I am pretty new also, and a survivor of a physcial and mentally abusive first marriage, along with my oldest son. Along with, now, breast cancer and 2 strokes survivor. But, I am doing pretty well, finally! You will find lots of support here!

Stacy,
I have an even better idea for making money and doing what you have in mind also. Add TRAINING husbands to keep things in order also! You could make a mint off that one! LOL I would be the FIRST to hire you!

Training husbands could be an awesome business. Marketing would be key. You cold have commercials during all the sport's games.

About the typos: I usually ignore them because I know what we meant to say. I am guilty of typos of course we all are. I think sometimes I am so eager to post I don't bother to edit. But I did wonder what the "feel" word meant. LOL: You mean you love to feed people! Nourishing others, that's a good thing! Thanks to all for the endorsement of my book. If anyone wants a signed copy, just PM me. Or it's available via Amazon & bn.com. June, you have had a lot to survive, including cancer and strokes? I'm glad to hear you are doing well now. Meredith: I dreamt about your bead business. In my dream I saw the most gorgeous shoes. They were sandals, short high heels (who can wear spikes these days) and the straps were made of strings of beads. I thought of you when I woke up. Maybe you can get a shoe maker to create a prototype, then you can market to Saks & Nordstoms! Think about it: your beautiful bead creations instead of boring straps. Sling backs made from beads! Also, everytime I think my husband is trained he does something stupid like throw my mail away. He'll be sorry if he throws away my invite to Oprah! LLL

I know you're going to find this hard to believe but I have a pair of shoes like Lynn described. Just soles and a heel and the rest is jewels.

Oh queen of shoes Dianne, I believe it!

Beaded shoes are hot this year. I was just in Nordstrom's with my son Monday and saw tons of them.

Lynn, thanks for thinking of me, but right now I don't have a shred of time to figure how to market anything new. Maybe if someone else does the shoe research and marketing angle, I could do the beads?

Dotsie, I've seen a lot of shoes that had beads sewn into them, like Persian or Indian styles. Of course, I'm attracted to anything beaded!

[ October 21, 2005, 03:02 AM: Message edited by: meredithbead ]

Thanks for the warm welcome JJ! Its nice to chat with other women.
I'm lovin' this website!
Alana