Hi everyone,

I'm new to this forum and I would like to share an interesting topic with you. Internet Relationships. Many people from around the country are meeting online everyday.

People are changing their jobs and living locations just to be with the person they now call their soulmate. Some of these arrangements are successful with results of marriage. Some not to pleasing to the ear or eye.

People are using the internet for dating over the traditional forms of dating like the bars, clubs, parties and other social gatherings.

One lady told me....
"Why marry your high school SweetHeart when you can marry a complete stranger."

My question is...is it safe?

Barbara, I wrote a book about a fictional internet relationship. The book is called FOREVER UNTIL WE MEET.

For anyone who ever thought they found their soul mate online.

A woman faces a lonely life in a small town after her daughter leaves home and decides to spice up her life by letting loose on a computer bulletin board. An innocent to computers and messaging, she falls prey to a career "knight" of the computer realm.

Feel her love, pain, and disappointment as she meets this man and discovers what so many others have already known, that for this man love is only skin deep.

Follow her tormented path from small mountain town to sandy beaches as she finds out that to love someone you must find that love inside of yourself and then it's only a short sprint to forever.

Sigh, laugh, and cry with her as she makes peace with her past and puts it behind her, forever.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/159113045X/qid=1114884152/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/102-1593308-9343317?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

Barbara its not only NOT safe its actually stupid. Hey if you want to diddle around on the Internet thats fine but to actually meet one of these men. To me its not much different than phone sex. Whats not a bold face lie is usually fantasy. My friend and groomer of my dogs was married for 25 years to a man who became addicted to the Internet, he told her a year or so ago he was in love with a woman in Kansas City. He packed up his car and off he went to meet this person. They apparently did move in together for three months then he showed up on my friends doorstep saying the woman was not what she pretended to be and was only looking for a work horse for her farm...strike 1. Because he had desereted her ands she was a long time resident here she had gotten a divorce while he was gone, oops strike 2...then there was a bill forwarded to my friends home stating he owed several thousand dollars for things this other woman put on his credit cards....He stood on my friend porch begging for forgiveness, suitcase in one hand, "laptop" in the other, strike 3 and YOUR OUT!!! Beware ladies because if it sounds to good to be true, it is!

As you ladies know - there's always two sides to a story so I will share one for the "other side"

My sister-in-law was married (unhappily) and met a man online. After many months of emailing and chatting (and verifying his facts such as home address, phone, work) she decided to fly to California (from Florida) to meet this man. She came home long enough to file for divorce - pack her things and go back to California.

That was 15 years ago and they are still married and VERY happy to have found their soul mates

Would I personally trust it ??? I think I would have to lean towards Chatty's thoughts on the matter --

Lionspaaw good for her she was the one in a thousand that lucks out. If your that one then its fine but if you're the other 999 then its a disaster or could be. I wish it was the answer to meeting your soulmate BUT....we apparently do think alike about the odds.

I was actually giving her odds more one in several thousand ;-)

and for her -- I'm very glad she didnt run into Ted Bundy !!!

I'd tread carefully when walking down this road. I don't think one needs to be closed entirely to the possibility of finding love on the Internet, but I'd be awfully wary.

Speaking of the Interet, I've re-connected with a number of childhood girlfriends via Classmates.com. It's been heartwarming and wonderful. But these are women I've known since I was eight years old and for one reason or another lost touch with. A whole group of us got together last fall to celebrate our 50th birthdays. Some of us hadn't seen each other for 32 years!

I'll admit I've met a few men from online. BUT - Until I've known them for a LONG time, I always meet them at a public place and drive my own car. NEVER get in a car with a stranger. NEVER let somebody from the internet know where you live. Be CAREFUL.

My "online" experiences have been 99% good, and I've got some great friends because of the internet (both male and female). But then, I'm not "looking for love", I'm looking for friends.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think meeting a person online is that different from meeting a person in the produce section of the grocery store. People can lie in person, just as they can lie online. We just need to be smart enough to spot the "losers" wherever they may be.

I do NOT believe that you can "fall in love" with a person that you've only met online. Lust is definately possible, being "in love with the idea of being in love" maybe, but true love? Love has to grow over time.

I've got a friend who has fallen "victim" to internet romances, she's been heartbroken numerous times. Once over a guy who proposed marriage (when they'd never laid eyes on each other in person). Once over a guy who was going to move in with her (again, never met in person). Sometimes I just want to shake her silly, but she's lonely. And loneliness can be a wicked feeling. That I DO understand.

Whirlwind

Hello, again, all,
I think I've probably had more experience than most of you in the Internet dating thing. In fact, that is how I met the fella I recently posted about in "He's just not that into you," on this forum. Chatty...I apologize for my resentment about your and Smile's statements...They are true! You women have a lot of wisdom here, and I have benefitted from your feedback...truly.
The Internet is a vast jungle....Meeting a man that way is akin, in my experienced opinion, to throwing a hook into the ocean and coming up with who knows what kind of monster...and I've pulled up several!
I am a middle school teacher, living in a small town, don't go to bars, do attend church...(it's a fallacy that you can meet men there, in my opinion...most who attend are married), and even the Christian singles sites are full of weirdos!!!!
Chatty, I just received the Solo Bliss book about which you posted. I am now striving for that..
I could recount story after story, but the concensus here seems to be....BEWARE!!!, and I agree.
ARI

Whirlwind, you hit the nail on the proverbial head. It's loneliness. Our society isn't as "social" as it once was. People are working more, spending more time on their computer instead of getting out and about. We're feeding our need for socialization by using the computer instead of getting out and about. With that socialization we're using the computer as a way to meet people of the opposite sex and develop intimate, even sexual relationships with them.

Plus, we've fallen into that trap where it's easier to "say" something in writing, than it is to say it in person. People will open up and tell some of the most personal, intimate details of their life to perfect strangers on the Internet. If they were speaking in person, they'd probably be much more withdrawn and withhold those kinds of details.

There is a sense of safety there as you sit behind your computer screen that can't be carried forward when people meet in person. I don't care how long you've spoken on the telephone, or how much you've written to each other, if you meet in person, you're still meeting a stranger.

Most every child knows, A Stranger is Danger.

I understand that there are success stories when it comes to meeting people on the Internet. It happens. And when it does, people gush about how serendipitous it was that they found each other. But for every one success there are thousands of heartbreaking failures.

Why do they fail? For one, because people are not as truthful as they could be when hiding behind the safety of their computer screen. For another, because developing a relationship with someone takes time and work and a compliment of all the senses. See, Hear, Touch, Taste, Smell and Perception. It's difficult to experience all those senses when you're sitting at a computer screen typing on a keyboard. For most computer relationships, time and work is left out as well, because the "relationship" moves so quickly into intimacy without following a natural progression of getting to know someone and developing a trust.

Now, with all that said, there are other kinds of relationships (non sexual) that people develop online that can be healthy, like the ones we've developed here at BWS. This is a great example of where people desire to socialize with likeminded folk and a means to a need was developed.

However, even meeting people you've met here should still follow general safety guidelines. Meet in public, tell someone where you're going and when you should be back, etc.

I shall step off my soapbox now and stop talking. I think I've made my point.