Ask Dutchy, I can so relate to those qualms about going to hair salons. I searched my entire adult life for someone who could do something with my hair. It's wild and unmanageable, and every hairdresser would try something "unique", and, well, let's just say I rarely ever went back to the same hairdresser twice. Until I stumbled into the salon I go to now and found my Donka.

Donka was the only hairdresser available that first day I tried this salon. And she worked magic on my hair. It not only looked good the day after, but looked fabulous WEEKS after. That was six years ago, and she has since seen me through job interviews, my wedding, Christmas parties, my book launch, book signings and TV appearance.

I'm much poorer now than I was back then, and can't really afford her anymore. But hubby and I decided that Donka was the one "luxury" we would hold onto...she's more than just a hairdresser now. She's a friend, confidante and gives the most amazing head massages! I just couldn't face the thought of trying to find another hairdresser. So I just don't go as often now.

I wish everyone could find their own "Donka"...maybe it seems shallow and insignificant in the larger scheme of things, but it does make an amazing difference to me when she makes this wild hair look so good.

BTW, I FOTFL (fell on the floor laughing) at your last line...

[ August 31, 2005, 11:42 AM: Message edited by: Eagle Heart ]

Dear Eagle Heart

That's freedom Eagle, becoming who you are, constantly evolving, stepping out of all the little boxes in the mind that says you have to be a certain way. It's one heck of a journey isn't it...sometimes like a wild roller coaster ride... but what a ride!

The spirit doesn't want to be tamed! And that's the best gift of all...following the freedom of the spirit for it truly knows the journey that will fulfill you...however that journey shows up.

Sometimes we think it has to be all roses without the thorns but sometimes it's the thorns that bring about the most amazing experiences...being able the feel the heart and soul...the yearning for a life of freedom...the spirit wild and unbroken... the heart broken...pushing barriers never before pushed.

To actually live life! However it shows up...with no control, no blocks, willing to experience every moment to the fullest...to feel ourselves to the fullest...however that shows up...whatever we feel...it doesn't matter because we are just in acceptance of the life force and our forward movement...testing new ideas...playing with the mind...finding the core within.

Now that's a journey! A wild ride of the soul and spirit! I'm with you on that one Eagle Heart!

Thank you for your lovely comments Eagle...they touched my heart!

With love
Leigha

I am so glad that this discussion came up--it has been a bone of contention for me for a long time. Basically, all of the women in my family who are older than me had to deal with prematurely graying hair that was pure white by their mid 40s. Because the styles were different when they were young and early middle agers, all of them have or had what I would call "Granny style" hair. As I look back at old photos, my great-grandmothers and grandmothers all had old-lady hair beginning in their early to mid 40s! My mother followed their pattern--she has ALWAYS had very short, very old lady styled hair, and she was salt and pepper in her late 20s, gray in her 30s, and white haired in her 40s and beyond. OK--all of this history to explain why I am completely rebelling from the "hair history" of my family! I began noticing a few grays here and there in my 20s, but they were subtle so I either ignored them or pulled them out(my hair is dark brown, so they can really stand out). In my 30s, it got worse and worse, so I began coloring my gray, but never really got very adventurous with color(chose medium to dark brown). All this time I kept my hair fairly long with some layers around my face. Now, in my 40s, I am seeing more and more gray, and I have to color my roots more and more often. I still like to keep my hair fairly long and layered--to me it looks so much more youthful when longer. As my natural hair color becomes more and more white, I will probably color it lighter and lighter until I end up being a blonde. I was blonde as a child, it darkened in my teens, and I was a brunette adult until it began to gray. I can see that one day it will no longer be brown naturally, but white. BUT, instead of going white, I guess I will go blonde. I am now at the age when my mother, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers had gray or pure white hair and kept their hair very short, permed, and old lady style. I feel that I look SO much younger than they did at this age, simply because of hair styles and hair color. My mother still follows the old lady hair creed--goes and gets her white hair "done" at a salon every week or so, and does not EVER wash and style it herself, and avoids many things in life because she doesn't want to get her hair wet and mess it up--she gets it cut short and gets perms just like her mother and grandmothers did. SO, when we discuss this issue, we are not even in the same book, much less the same page. I just do not get her generation and the generations before her, and she does not get mine. According to my mother, white hair makes you wise and looking and acting elderly is something to be desired--the wisdom of age, I suppose--she says that she wears her white hair proudly(and has done so since her late 30s/early 40s). I, on the other hand, am fighting the aging process full force, at least as far as my hair is concerned. I would absolutely HATE to have my hair white and in a short granny style!! I can't imagine going to get my hair whitened, cut short, permed, etc. I can't imagine living in fear of getting my hair wet and not being able to get it fixed until next week. I am SO glad our generation does not do this!! I just don't understand the concepts of "the old lady hair creed". Here's to young-looking hair!!!

Kate, I feel the same as you. Women from my h.s. class have the permed, tight short hair. It's not like they are stuck in the decade they grew up in, it's like they are stuck in the 1950's! I grew up in the 70's and remember wearing my hair long and since it is wavy, even ironing it.

My hairstyle is not intended to make me look younger. I'm continuing to do what I've always done: keep up with the times and fashions to a certain extent, since I'm not into fads. I've been coloring my hair for a long time and do not intend to quit just because I'm getting older. I will probably always have longer hair (to my shoulders), but I may end up wearing it up more as I get older.

If someone wants to have gray hair, I think that it can look very attractive, but they should have it styled in a flattering and current style that suits their lifestyle.

well, golly Diane, the short stuff goes with the sweaty head that happens so often at first. I hate even to put product in my hair, it gets all gluey when the personal summers begin. I would Love to have the hair I used to have. Short is the way to go for the time being, but I am with you it kind of is a badge of time for women of a certain age!!

Well, my hair is usually pulled up with a hair clip just to get it off my neck. I've been wearing it more natural because when I use a hair dryer, I start sweating and it stays wet!

Ok, take a look at my picture. I have short gray hair. I have no choice. It decided on it's own that it wouldn't take color any more and it wouldn't take perm either. So I've got what I've got. It used to be thick, but it's straight as a stick. Now it's a little thinner but I like it this way cause it's so easy to manage.

my 2 cents worth.

I have my gray, also. It just came gradually, and everyone commented how nice it looked! HA!! Actually, my gray is basically around my face - the back still auburn.

I'm trying to let the layers grow - after wearing it very short for many years. Only, now I have these quirky cowlicks in places that weren't there before.

I wish I had a dime for every hair-style magazine I've stood and paged through - hoping to find something appropriate for gray - wonder when someone will wake up and realize that we are a mighty large market out here - dying for someone to help us find our new 'style.' Has anyone tried to buy clothes lately?

Wondered, if I was the only one experiencing the "quirky" cowlicks, and no they were not there before. Good fairy must be slapping them on when.... I do sleep.
Where is my worst cowlick? You guessed it...front bangs.

Durning early summer I had light blond frosting added to my hair. Thought it would hide the grey & white hairs popping up. Popping up...looks like someone has scared the daylights out of me. Keep telling my boys they did it. Hee-hee.
My grandmother never had a grey hair one, it would have been nice to have followed suit.

Sorry to report, I have not bought one outfit this year. Walk and look and look...haven't seen one "gotta-have" thing on the racks.
Gotta wonder, if they are sending teenagers to buy for the women's dept.???