Dianne,
I am so sorry for your loss and everything you are going through right now. It sounds like your aunt was a very wise person, and she wanted that poem to bring you comfort. I hope you will find that comfort, and some peace, very soon.

Dianne: I am sorry for your loss. Your aunt was a special, lucky lady to have had a niece who cared for her as much as you did. What a gift for both of you to be together when she passed on.

Sometimes men are so limited and and say things without thinking of their effect. Sounds like your husband realized what he had done by showing up in Atlanta the next day.

I pray things are better for you now. Sue

suepitts2001@yahoo.com

Dianne,
I'm so sorry about your aunt and your marriage. Words can't begin to express how much I empathize with you right now.
I feel that my advice probably doesn't hold much weight, but it would have been right if you, your husband and your step son could have sat down together and discussed his finances, his lease, the options, money, relationships, etc. That would have been the most respectful and loving thing your husband could have done for you.
It seems your husband has cut you out of his private life. There could be a number of reasons for this, maybe he doesn't trust you because he knows this is a touchy issue between you; maybe because of the pending divorce. Maybe he feels obligated to help his son and feels like a failure in your eyes because he feels the need to heip his offspring. I think he knows its not wise, but feels compelled somehow to help his seed survive, sort of a primal thing. The son was there first and seems like "his problem" not yours, his onus, his albatros, not yours. Maybe your husband is trying to protect you from his son by handling these things covertly hoping they will succeed so he can say, "See? It was done behind your back, but it worked."
Your husband is wrong. When something like this happens, intimacy is lost. Another nail is hammered into the divorce coffin.
The son surely knows this and how could he respect you or his father and allow his dad to go behind your back?? What kind of lesson is your husband teaching his son?? That is you are in relationship with a woman its OK to hold back areas of your life from her? It is a total lack of respect.
Satan loves covert activity. That's where he does his best work, in the dark. Complete honesty, no matter how painful, is the best and only option.
I think you were wise to consult your attorney first because when trust is broken and the love feelings start to numb, then survival of the fittest takes over and it can be brutal in the fear of loss of material things rather than working on intimacy and relationship.
I'm so sorry you are about to lose a confidant. Unconditional love is one of life's greatest gifts but maybe when she is with the Lord, she can petition in person for you which is something it sounds like she would do.
Thanks for letting me share my thoughts and feelings.

If you look at the date of the original post, it's August 2004. We should all pay attention to that, before we reply.

Sorry, but why is it still here then?

I think all the topics stay in the list, but you can check to see if they are active or not. There's no need to apologize - sorry if I sounded like I was scolding! I got a little nervous when I saw you telling Dianne you were sorry about her husband and aunt. I thought something had happened and I felt so bad because she has so much going on right now.