Ladies, yes, I should have employed tough love several years ago according to my younger son. He tells me all the time what a dope I was where the oldest was concerned. Of course he tells me the tales now, not when they were happening. So tough love it is, and frankly, it is for all the wrong reasons. I do care what happens to him obviously, but with all the hell of the last year, between his antics and his father's, I'm done, done, done, like the purdue chicken whose pop up timer has hit the oven top. I want to not worry about any of this any more....So if he calls, he calls, and if not, oh well. It is amazingly liberating. And dots, I too have gotten the frantic call and because he is only an hour and a half away I really believe he thought I would jump in the car and drive to PA to solve his problem. The old Kath would have....the new Kath said, I'll deal with it on Tuesday when the bank reopens, meanwhile, oh well! I am proud of me.