quote:
Originally posted by Candice Johnson:
but tax time is when I really get the picture of how much more WE could be doing if WE were doing the stuff together. THere are only so many hours in the day and it is difficult to keep tabs on all of it. My husband hates talking about finances. He's gotten better, but it's still a struggle. Any ideas on how to get your partner involved with financial matters without it becoming the biggest stress in your married lives together?
I'm so glad you brought this back up because it was a post I wanted to get to.

Before we got married the priest talked to us about several aspects of marriage. Money was one of the biggies. Along with money comes communication. The two have to be connected in my opinion.

I'm assuming you have one big pot [Big Grin] of money meaning you don't have separate accounts, each with your own earnings.

If that's the case, you should have a budget that the two of you agree on. Givens are mortgage, gas and electric, phone, all the necessities.

Decide what you want to do with what's left. A portion for saving and a portion for mad money as my mom would call it.

Mad money is where it gets tricky. [Eek!] Like Thistle suggested, pick a dollar amount and decide that you won't purchase anything without consulting if it's above that amount. [Wink]

This is where lots of communicating comes in.

Some women might disagree and think we shouldn't have to do this, but remember you are in this together. You're trying to do what's best for both of you.

So if you want to spend x amount of money to go on a trip with the girls and he wants to spend x amount on a new gadget for the computer, you have to discuss and see how both can be pleased by cutting corners in other areas. Sometimes both can't be pleased so you give and take at different times in your marriage. But be HONEST about your feelings. Speak honestly about what you think is fair.

The more you communicate, the more he's involved. He has to be made more aware if he helps set the budget and you work together at staying within it.

Happily married couples really want to please the other partner. Remember that! When working as a team, there's no reason both of you can't be happy if you are communicating honestly and doing some give and take. Hope this helps.