In my opinion, this life is but boot camp for eternity. Growing up with the parents I had wasn't easy. Being married to the men I have been married to hasn't been easy. Loving my children with all my heart and having the youngest with so many addiction problems certainly hasn't been easy.
Loving people and having them turn on you and hate you for being who you are hasn't been easy but I think now after all this time, I thank God for my journey. He knew just exactly what kind of family and what kind of life it would take to prepare me and shape me, mold and make me into the person he wanted me to be for his purpose.
He loves me so much that his purpose for me is to make me into his likeness and his image so he can use me. I'm just here to bring honor to him.
I can bitch and moan about the things life has thrown my way or I can be thankful for them and make the most of them. I can ask God what purpose he had for these events and these people I've had to deal with and them with me.

Ultimately I'm afraid, I'm very afraid, but not of lesbians or homosexuals or rapists or pedefiles. What I'm MOST afraid of is offending God..I'm most afraid of not allowing my circumstances to create a new heart in me and facet after facet of that diamond he wants me to be.
I'm most afraid of not making it to be with him for all eternity. That basically and hehe...metaphorically, scares the Hell out of me.
I can't say I love God and hate you. I would be a liar and a shame to God. I can say without a doubt that I love God and because I have the love of Christ Jesus in me, I can love you and hope you can love me, even with my faults.

New Leaf, it makes me sad that a belief in God should make one afraid. If God is all loving and forgiving, you have no reason to be afraid. No soul is bad. The person may do bad things, but all souls are God's creation. If you believe that, then you mustn't be afraid of him, for he has created you, with all your attributions and all your faults.

Thank you, Hannelore. The kind of fear I'm referring to is a happy fear, if that makes sense. Its more an awe and a deep reverence, a worshipful acquiesence to someone so much greater than I who saw fit to not only choose me to have life, but also gave it to me with a plan for my success, (like an owner's manual for a new car..)
It would only make me deeply sad to disappoint him in any way as I know I have. But I've never doubted his love for me or his forgiveness. I have to realize and admit I've side stepped from his plan for me though. How can you forgive someone who doesn't admit their wrong and ask for forgiveness? I believe all of us are born with a sin nature or are born into sin and all need forgiveness and cleansing from our sin, otherwise we are doomed. God doesn't doom us...the plan for our doom was set up before our existance, but not by God. Not only do I believe in a perfect Holy God, I believe in a most unholy entity also who is the hater of my soul and whose sole purpose is to kill me, destroy me and steal from me all the joy and peace god has for me.
There have been debates throughout history about whether or not man is born a sinner or a saint. I just believe God loves us enough to give us a choice about whether or not to choose his son/him (God) or reject him. If one accepts his son, then they also agree to his terms and agree to turn their lives around in a new direction and cede ownership of oneself to Christ for complete control.
I'm very judgemental and trying so hard not to be in this life. I want understanding and knowledge and the best and in my opinion, only source of knowledge is God.
All the debates pro and con regarding homosexuality/or not, lesbianism/or not, sexual outside of marriage/or not, abortion/or not....all these are just symptoms of a much greater issue. Seems we get so bogged down in the issues that we miss the core, which is are we pleasing our creator or throwing his plan for us out the window and laughing in his face? Are we so enthralled with our own wisdom and our own self made design for our lives that we miss out on true peace and happiness? Just some thoughts.

I have a friend who is a retired chemist. He believes that homosecuality is a '3rd' sex. Male, Female, Homosexual. Homosexuality has been around since people appeared on the planet and even in the animal/insect world there is homosexuality (I watched a show on Animal Planet the other night about it...fascinating).
My best friend in Germany was a gay man. He'd call me crying about some guy who had just dumped him and could he come over and cry on my shoulder. He'd bring a bottle of wine and it was like sitting with my girlfriend...that's how I learned about the world of homosexuality...after knowing Tony for a very long time I asked him if he chose to be homosexual. He looked at me with all honesty and said, "Why would anyone choose this for themselves? The starring, the reducule, the humiliation one goes through..." He went on to say he'd tried being straight and almost married but realized he had to be true to what God made him and that was homosexual.
Do I embrace that lifestyle? No. Would I want to? No. But, having known Tony has allowed me to see into his world and understand his side of his life. He was my best friend for many years and was one of the most gentle souls I've ever known.
My personal view is homosexuality is legitimate and eventually the world as a whole is going to have to come to terms with it because it is not going away. I don't believe that the gay parades where sex is lewdly displayed and crude is a decent way to behave anymore than I believe that some Mardi Grau parades where women display their breasts and private parts for beads is a decent way to behave. I've been to Burbon street in New Orleans (pre-Katrina) and it was pretty disgusting...I won't go back.
So, for me this is how I see it...be true to who you are, don't hurt others and try everyday to live in God's light. Just my view.

I believe we can change the world one person at a time. I have no problem with genders and sexuality and hold no grudges about it. Everyone I know knows that. Myabe some of them will reconsider their positions and if everyone does that we can be a happier planet. Of course, that is not going to happen, at least not in my lifetime. Too many people teach their children to hate other people's lifestyles and beliefs.

Newleaf, I am so happy to be reading your posts again. I appreciate your thoughts on your God and Christianity. However, I do not think you should be afraid of going to hell. Me thinks you're a shoe-in for heaven. Carry on dear friend and keep living your thoughts.

Thank you Dee and Saundra and Dotsie for your wonderful insights and encouragement.
I too have unstraight friends and they respect my stance and views regarding their lifestyle choices...Goodness knows, mine haven't been sterling.
I didn't choose to be brilliant (very high IQ), or poor or with vericose veins or a type A personality....geeze..I'd change with just about anyone on an issue here or there...but I think everyone who knows me knows my greatest fault is loving too much and caring too much about others at the exclusion of myself.
I don't really care what anyone else does behind their locked or open doors. I've made love to a bottle of wine or two myself when my heart was bruised, but if I were an alcoholic, I would know that I couldn't drink because I have a weakness for alcohol and that weakness could and would destroy me.
If I were a diabetic I wouldn't choose to be and I'd cry and ask God, "Why me?"...but if I wanted to live a healthy and semi normal life, I'd take my insulin and stay away from sugar.
Don't beat the prejudice drum for me. I can't hear it. It doesn't work. Just know that there is right and wrong and God didn't want any of us to suffer, but when sin entered the world through Satan, we all got a cross to bear of one sort or another....it how we choose to bear that cross that makes the difference. I won't drink to excess if you won't give in to the sin of lying with a woman as if she were a man and a man as if he were a woman...I didn't make it up...I didn't make the rules and I have a hard enough time following them myself.
There is a Hell and I hope to stay out of it. Can't speak for you or yours...just myself.

You know what I think hell is? If you believe there is a hell.

Newleaf and Dee,
We hear too little from the two of you, but when you do speak the wisdom of your words thunders through this forum. I read each word twice and just shook my head at your passion and intelligence.
Newleaf, I doubt any of us could withstand; "those without sin, cast the first stone." There isn't one of my Boomer sisters that I would not break bread with and welcome into my home to meet my family.
Saundra, I agree we can change one person at a time and should OPENLY, not secretely, defend those different in some way from ourselves. Especially when it is none of our business to begin with.

Charles Dickens wrote:
A loving heart is the truest wisdom.

That kind of says it all.... HUGS,
Chatty

Newleaf...what profound words you speak. I was drawn in by what you said. Well put.
The only time I have problems with people doing what they like behind closed doors is when I hear of children being molested or wives being beaten and abused against their will. Then I want to shout in protest how wrong this all is. I believe that our society has given in too much to letting it all hang out (our generation started it) and the next generation has taken it even further. Gosh, I can feel myself getting up on that soap box so I'll stop. I just think the young people of today (for the most part) have no guidance...that's clear from how they dress, act, speak, dance, and behave and treat people our age. I know this hasn't anything to do with the original topic...sorry.