I feel the same way as some of you. My youngest is a high school senior. We talk about everything. This past summer was the hangout everyday for about 15 kids. I'm going to miss all that when she goes off to college. I am hoping my husband and I reconnect. But for right now instead of worrying about missing my daughter, I am enjoying the closeness we have.

During the summer, we were getting my son ready for college. I was very excited for him. I am very proud that he was able to go away to college. I wanted to go away to college after high school but was unable to afford it. So with all this pride and excitment, my husband and I drove him up to college. We helped him set up his dorm room. It was fun!!.
On the way home, the knot in the stomach started and hasn't left me yet. The realization that my #1 baby is gone was over whelming! I do keep in contact with him via the internet but it is not the same as having him right here.
I have a son still at home. He is in his last year of high school. So I consider myself at semi empty nester; however, the reality of an empty nest has hit me like a ton of bricks.
The knowledge that this would one day happen has always been there. We are just starting to comprehend the meaning of it. We are seeing subtle changes in our daily routine. These changes will only grow over the next year or so. Transitions have never been one of my strong suits.
My husband and I have always done things with and for the kids. For us to be able to do things just for us seems very strange at this point.

Many of you know my nest is not empty, hubby and myself still have 4 adult children living at home.

Believe, the cost of living in my area has alot to do with the situation. Property values have nearly tripled in price since moving here 15 years ago. We actually had a neighbor who sold their home, and had to move out of state, because they couldn't afford to buy in the area.

Couple of the kids are saving, hoping to buy their own place, not sure that will be happening any time soon. Other two, have incomes that just support their day to day living.

Here I am 54, doing the same thing I have done all their life. Cooking, cleaning and picking up after them. When someone here says "I'm doing my laundry", it means they have put a load in the washer, then into the dryer...another in the washer, I'm done.
It's not like, I didn't teach them how to clean up after themselves. But, it seems to totally have escaped their present memory.

Husband & I had discussed selling our home and moving to San Antonio, Texas. Real estate is much more reasonable, cost of living has to be more managable. My eldest daughter liked the idea so....that she will be moving next summer.
My husband is retired military and a goverment contractor presently, so San Antonio would support our life requirements also.
Four other children are not keen on the idea. Since, growing up in this area.

When I read a post like Vicki's, I long to have my house to myself, I would love to pick up and go. Be free and fly, doing just what comes to mind each and ever day. Everything in it's place, a place for everything.
Twenty years together we have never traveled, or vacationed together.
Just doing as you please....sounds like a bit of heaven to me.

My neighbors all make fun and say "how many you have home now"? Like no one knows...front of the house looks like a parking lot.
Most think I'm not doing any favors by allowing them to stay here.
How do you not???
My home will always be open to my children...no matter what.

Seems as though my house will be adding another member...my daughter has a friend who will be moving in with us.
Over the past couple of weeks I have learned that her friend has a sexually, & physcially abusive dad.
Friend, has yet to tell me personally of the sexual abuse. Most is relayed thru my daughter.
Here lately her friend describes to me... her dad sitting in a dark room, talking to the wall. Flying off the handle, screaming and yelling. Haven't figured out if her mom is sacred beyond belief, or just turning the other cheek.
Frankly, I believe he should be turned over to the authorties ASAP.
She goes to church and has shared this information with the preachers wife. Her dad happens to be a deacon in the church. Now, the church has expressed to her... releasing dad from position. She knows, he will know... it came from her.
I know in my heart this girl to be abused, I've been there. Spent time as a volunteer with sexually, battered and abused women.
My daughter seems to run into these wounded babies. Last year she worked with a girl who took her dad to court for sexual abuse, my daughter sat by her side. Her dad lied, mom lied, the younger son lied...and the judge believed them, this man was also a decon in his church. Sad part was this girl was 18, newly married to an abusive man.

Both my daughter and her friend have applied for income based housing. That can take up to 3-6 months before becoming available.
What do you think....are we sometimes asked to extend our wants and needs and continue being cargiver for our own & others?


Brenda

Brenda, like you, my home will always be opened to my grown children, no matter what. I didn't have that in my own life and I try to give that to my kids. I think you're a saint and so is your daughter.

We had a former neighbors who dropped by last night. She was talking about how her daughter was graduating this May from Falwell's Liberty University in Lynchburg. (This girl did not want to go to school out of the area). She really wanted to go to our community college and then on to Mary Washington.
Said her daughter was working as a bartender now, and had just bought her own home.
I know who bought her home, because my daughter had spent the weekend with her daughter, not to long ago in Lynchburg. Not to mention a credit card that supplies her groceries, and home needs...electric water, etc. Bought a new car last year and this year also.
You don't buy that kind of stuff on a bartender's salary.
She went on to say she was so glad her daughter would not be moving back into our area.
That it was time for her to move on with her life and be the woman. This woman hangs on her husband, everytime she comes here. Believe me you, he is nothing to look at. Nice guy...just not movie star material.
It's almost like this woman is jealous of her own daughter. She picked a home in a rural area last year, almost like it is a hide away for hubby and herself.
Her point was if her daughter had not spent the last several years in Lynchburg at school, working and doing for herself, she would not be the pillar of society she believes, or should I say... wants others to believe.
At the same time asking.... when are your kids moving out?
What are they doing?
Sad thing is her daughter is not happy there. She has voiced the same to my daughter.

Geezzz. maybe next time she will choose to cruise right on by.

Oh, believe me I even get it from my 71 year old aunt, "throw em out, you ain't doing em any favors".
If, they were laying around doing nothing I just might.
No I'm no saint... I do want to be just totally selfish, and think of me...me...me.

Just doesn't seem to be what God has in mind for me right now.


Brenda

Robi8, I agree. We did everything with and for our kids. My kids were into sports in high school, so we were very involved with them and going to their games. there will be a void to fill. Going to games was an inexpensive social time. We'll have to find other inexpensive things to do to fill our time.

I know just how you feel Suzieq, my house is finally squeaky clean and everything is in place after 29 years of mothering...but the sound of emptiness is deafening...it went by so quickly..and although I have a wonderful husband and we have so much fun together..I miss my kids like crazy...my oldest is 29 and the baby is 21...and they all have happy, fulfilling lives of their own..for which I am grateful and happy for them..but I miss those little arms to squeeze me and the sound of laughter and cooking special things for them...i just loved being a MOMMY..it;s nice to know that I'm not crazy for feeling this way....

bless you, brenda! we've had a couple of 'strays' live with us and it is not easy. i'm just so glad my own kids thought enough of us to want to share what they consider a good home with a less fortunate friend.

no one can tell you what to do about your kids. i will always have the door open for mine, too. my oldest is married and lives a mile away but works with us so is here a lot. i also do daycare for his daughter.

my youngest has moved in and out several times, is currently IN. the part i find hard to deal with is the 'debri' he leaves in his wake with each move.

I may be a year away form the empty nest. I have two high school seniors who are looking at colleges away from home. We'll see how this all pans out. I always soak up the threads about the empty nest. I am doing my best to prepare, making the most of doing things with them this year, and discussing it with my husband so we are at least a little prepared. But I have a feeling I'm in for it. Growing up I always wanted to be a mother. Pure and simple. Get married, have kids. Time will tell.

My thoughts and prayers are with all ofyou who are experiencing it first hand.

I have mixed emotions about the ENS... Being a single parent, its REALLY quite here since the baby moved out a few months ago. On one hand I enjoy the silence, and the way my toliet paper last forever, but on the other hand, the quiet can be deafening... you know? What do I do when this happens? I busy myself with something. Anything...

The UP side to losing them to life is that grandchildren come along and then you go, "ohhhhh....so this is what you had in mind for me, eh God? And thanks!"

JJ