He called me yesterday all stressed. Wedding coming up the end of this month and his dad told him he wanted a cash bar at the rehearsal dinner! You don't do that to people who have spent time and their own money to be a part of the wedding. Good grief. He had promised my son money as a wedding gift and also told him that there would be no money. Their wedding gift from him is an old, used refrigerator he gave them. I should add that my future DIL's mother is a widow, has no money so the kids have pretty much paid for everything themselves. We're giving them money as a gift to help put that money back into their hands as our gift along with air conditioning for their new little house (they live in AZ and it get's hot!).

I wanted this day to be special for them without stress (good luck on that one!) so I told him I would pay for all the liquor at the rehearsal dinner and to not worry about it. I told my husband I was going to buy a cheap boxed wine and put it in front of my ex.

It's not that his dad doesn't have the money. He would rather spend the money on himself. Trust me, I was married to him for 13 very long years and I know how he operates.

I feel so sorry for my son. Poor guy.

Dianne, it's sad when people we are supposed to trust make promises and then back off, even more so when it comes to a parent. Weddings are expensive and stressful enough. Sorry your son and you are going through this.

I pray you all have a wonderful wedding day and are able to rejoice in the love these two persons share, liquour or not!

I may have confused some of you by saying I thought Dianne was at her son's wedding this past week. I was wrong. She was at a wedding, but it wasn't her son's.

I guess she'll be leaving us again soon so she can celebrate her son's wedding this time around.

Planning weddings can create tremendous stress. It's so sad that so much of the stress boils down to money.

It's supposed to be such a special day. I wonder if there is a way to make weddings less stressful. Even planning ahead far in advance doesn't seem to work. What is it about weddings that can bring out the monster in people? David and I had people show up for our wedding who weren't even invited! The unmarried couples were arguing and left early. It was weird.

I'm trying to alleviate some of Derek's stress by stepping in and taking care of things for him and Missy. I never wanted to be a big part of the planning because I didn't want Missy's mom to think I was taking over. Missy and I talk on the phone about their plans but I don't give advice unless it's asked for.

My ex did the same thing to me when our son got married. Didn't pay for a thing, but now acts like the all benevolent father and grandfather, handing over money when my sons need it. That's something I can no longer do since retirement. He's a jerk, but most ex's are, aren't they?

The wedding will be beautiful and in the days ahead, it will be you they will think of with so much love, for your support and help with their special day.

"He's a jerk, but most ex's are..."

That's why they're ex's

You know, I've always tried to back away from being one of those women who talked terrible about their ex. The worse thing I could do was divorce him, which I did and I've tried to leave him behind me. Of course, with weddings, etc. they will alway be a part of your life. I have never talked bad to my son about his dad--never. And Derek has always appreciated that. It's like someone is messing with my kid and my claws come out! I'm going to have a wonderful time no matter what his dad does. This is my son's special day.

What's the fun of divorcing them if you can't bash um? Okay, I'm just joshin'... I never said one word against they boy's Daddy to them. Ever. I wanted them to form their own opinions about people. Even their Daddy.

JJ

My boys found out on their own what their Dad was really like. Now my oldest son is so contrite because he says he now sees himself now as treating his wife Gwen the way he saw his Dad treat me and he is so sad and sorry about that.

My daughter is getting married in November and her dad (my ex) is not putting one penny toward her wedding. Me and my husband are paying for everything. The kids have been really good at being frugal and keeping the plans simple. But it just burns my goat that my ex thinks that paying for his own airfare to get to the wedding is a good enough contribution. ARGH!