mama, if anyone would just tell us why our kids turn on us like they sometimes do, maybe we could see it coming and prevent it. personally, i think it is the outside influences that start hitting them as soon as they leave the nest for kindergarten.

my 2 older kids went through a stage when they thought they would be better off in foster homes. my daughter even threatened to call social services and try to make it happen.

hubby and i did our very best to provide a peaceful home for them. my in-laws fight constantly so hubby grew up with that and refused to let our kids go through that kind of turmoil. i grew up in a peaceful home so it wasn't as much effort for me. to this day, we will never know what made them think they would be better off elsewhere; especially knowing other kids who were far worse off than they were.

our daughter died when she was 13 and that, of course, changed the course of life for the boys and us. even though i believe she had turned the corner and realized what a good life she had here at home before she died, it still hangs over me like unfinished business and always will. i choose not to dwell on it but it was a hurtful time for us all.

missi brought so much beauty to our lives, i find peace in knowing we did our best, no matter what stages of disillusionment she went through.