Oh my there are three that I never got over.

The first one is I was presenting an award for soldier of the month at Fort Greeley. I am painfully shy and I sat in my seat waiting for my name to be announced so I could run up, give the award, and slink back into my seat. Anyway, the master sgt said "Alaska Federal Credit Union" I ran up, shook the G.I.'s hand, made my pathetic speech and ran back to my seat. The problem? The announcement was for a different credit union (I worked for Alaska USA Federal Credit Union). Everyone stared at me (they knew I worked for the other) and the master sgt. said, "Alrighty" and gave me the sweetest smile.

One day I wore a black shoe and a navy blue shoe to the office. (They were the same style) I noticed it when I sat at my desk. I beat everyone to the punch by asking which color they thought went best with my outfit.

And the worst, I had my very first hot flash, while wearing a turtle neck and holed up in an conference room with 50 male stock brokers. I was almost purple from the flash, I was so hot.

Sorry to hog the board but this is the first time I have been able to purge this embarrassment. Thanks Danita and so sorry for your moment.

[ April 20, 2005, 02:56 PM: Message edited by: Jersey Girl ]

JJ you experienced my worse fear. Though a pair of stowaway underwear nearly made it to the office once.

(Why is underwear referred to as a pair, when it is a single item?)

Hey good question. And why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Okay...second scenario...was around 16-17 and riding with the love of my life (for that month) in his '57 Chevy on the way to meet his parents for the first time. The more I thought about it, the more nervous I got.

Queen Jaw Jaw Fact: When da Queen gets nervous, she ahhhh....builds up....ahhhh....oh let's call it air, shall we?

Okay, back to the ride...Air has to go somewhere, right? This was the dead of winter and I kept lowering my car window. Finally he said shivering, "Aren't you cold with that window down?" I said very stupidly, "why no, I'm hot-blooded." He just said, "Hmm." But he let it go. He lived at the top of a mountain. Climbing the road, I could feel the "air" building to a crecendo, k? But somehow I managed to ahhh...well, I controlled myself.

We arrived at his Momma's and Daddy's house, he comes around and opens my door. We approach the house and dear old Mom and Dad must have been watching thru the window because here is what happened next.

As I walked to the front door, his Daddy slung open the door and at the same time threw out his hand to shake mine...all in one swift motion. He opened the door so quickly it startled me because I wasn't expecting anyone to do that.

I jumped back and Steve (my love) caught me and then....he made the fatal mistake of patting me on the lower part of my back and saying, "go ahead, go in" ALL OF THIS HAPPENING AT THE SAME EXACT MOMENT.

Call it the SHOT HEARD AROUND THE MOUNTAIN...

All I can say is that his Daddy jerked his hand back like someone had tried to chopped it off. I was mortified. I stood there, Steve (looking around the porch like "what the H was that noise?") stood there, and dear old Dad kept his composure for a second or two and then between giggles disguised as a cough, said, "Ah cough..cough...haha..ahem..want you come...cough...cough...come...cough...teeh..cough...in?"

We didn't stay long. We didn't go parking afterwards either. I never could figure out why....hmmm

JJ

I have my husband convinced that women do not get air.

You must have been mortified but you did have good timing. LOL

Danita, I went to school in Michigan. Yikes, has my incident become immortal? The debate championships were for the state, or a tri-state area. Don't remember now. But, there was a lot of people around.

[ April 20, 2005, 03:35 PM: Message edited by: Vicki M. Taylor ]

vicki,

I graduated from a little town in Wyoming. I was on the speech team also!

I seriously doubt our paths crossed - though your tale (excuse the pun) is probably a classic one -- that has happened generation after generation.

How funny! God bless you child!

I started my first period in jail. Yup, you heard me right. Jail. I was in the holding cell at the Sheriff's office for shoplifting.

And, to top off the embarassament of being caught (and I EVEN had money in my pocket)..my father WORKED for the sherif's department.

I'll never forget my mother sobbing, "what did I do to raise you this way"....etc, etc, etc (you know the catholic guilt trip!) ha!

J.G. - isn't confession good for the soul!

J.J. - had me ROTFL! OMG! Talk about timing!

Danita

I'll have to relax my brain cells to find the "embarrasing moments" that I know are burried deep within!

Thanks for sharing ladies!

I needed this laugh. Good for the soul.

Okay...one last one...I just can't part with the exLAX story right now...so this one will have to do.

I was married and my hubby had a demanding boss. Just when you thought it was safe to breathe, this jerk could call the house and always huffing and puffing wanting my hubby to hurry up and get to the phone. Well, I was no UNimpressed with him that I didn't give him much concerned.

He called one day though when for a change, I was in a huff and trying desperately to get to the grocery store (a new one) before they closed.

He said, "Hey there...is Dave around? I need to---" before he could start his spill, I said, hold on, I'll get him, sorry...but I'm in a rush to go to the pubic store." Dead silence....I was annoyed. I said, LOUDER, "Did you hear me? I've got to run to the Pubic store and he's outside, so hold on, okay?"....I hear snickering...then chuckling...then between the heehawing he managed, "yeah...hahaha...yeah..fine...teehee. Oh heck, just tell him hahahah...to call me here....wahhhooooo....at the office." He hung up.

It hit me. I had said "pubic" instead of PUBLIX which was the name of the new grocery store. Now why the devil did they put a X on the end of the store's name anyway? It threw me off every time!

Anyway, I refused to go out to eat with his boss for a long time. Good grief...

JJ

Ha ha ha, what fun I'm having reading these.

Many, many years ago, my friend and I were at a night-club. She nudged me and said "see that guy, don't look now, but he's looking this way...Oh, he's coming to ask you to dance." Well I looked up and he was gesturing to me with his hand and mouthing, "would you like to dance?" I smiled, nodded yes, and got up and followed him to the dance floor. I was dancing and really gettin down, if you know what I mean, eyes half closed, arms flailing, singing to the top of my lungs... Hey, it was a fast dance. Through the corner of one half opened eye, I noticed a girl to my left. I almost hit her in the mouth with my dance moves. I gave her a quick smile and was just getting into the groove again when I noticed...she was dancing with him. I got a little territorial, but when I moved, she moved and then he moved. Huh...wazzup,I wondered. Over the noise of blaring music I yelled, "WHO DID YOU ASK TO DANCE?" He pointed to the girl on my left. I smiled and said, Hah...ah..Sorry, and graciously slithered off the dance-floor.

chick

and the winner is.....CHICK....omg!