There's bound to be a movie category, but I couldn't find it. Because everyone one on here liked it so well, I finally got to "Something's gotta' give" tonight. Went with my husband. It was hilarious and so real.

I'm a playwright and less than a year ago I was dating a much younger guy who wanted to marry me. I never really took him seriously and when I met my husband he was history. I was surprised at how hurt he was. I guess he was more serious than I thought. Younger men and older women may be a new trend. Before I was married, my daughter and I went to a party together where there were a lot of single men. Later we laughed about how the men my age were coming on to her and the men her age were coming on to me. I guess that's a new trend. Or maybe they were always that way and we didn't know it.

My husband's reaction to the movie was interesting. He just sort of accepted Jack Nicholson with the much younger girl, but got all quiet when the young doctor fell for Diane Keaton. He's usually not threatened by anything, but that seemed to threaten him. Even after the great ending, he seemed a little pensive so on the way out of the theater, I pulled him into a darkened area behind the security guard's station and planted a couple of huge kisses on him. Got him in a much better mood.

Though we regard ourselves as the same age, he's actually six years younger than I am. Interesting movie. Couldn't help but love it.

Anyone here married to or involved with a much younger guy?

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Hmmm...no...but life's so funny... it could just happen sometime. And I wanna be ready.

Keanu didn't look that bad to me either.

I always went with younger guys; I felt they had a much more enlightened attitude towards women.

My husband is 4 months younger and I told him he just made it under the wire because I would not go out with an older man.

If I were single tomorrow (PLEEEEEEEEEEEZ) I'd go with guys up to 15-20 years younger than I am, but not more than that.

My novel, Flying Lessons, (which I can't seem to stop editing) is about a repressed middle aged divorcee who becomes involved with a much younger guy. She hires him to teach her how to drive the classic Jaguar convertible that she has been awarded in the divorce settlement, Her ex husband has stolen it away to California when he marries his cute young assistant and they wind up driving it cross country home. Long story.

Writing the book made me more aware of older woman, younger man relationships. My husband is about the only guy I dated who was even close to my age. I think I like innocent spirits and that's something he has. It's what he says aout me too.

Life is strange.

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Smilin, I went to see this movie alone. I did that twice during the holidays. Never gone to the movies alone before and I loved it. I looked like a weirdo though because I was taking some notes for parts of my book. Did that with Mona Lisa Smile too. If you haven't seen it, you must! Julia Roberts ruled!

Anyway, since I've been married to the love of my life for almost 25 years (he's about 3 years older than I,) I don't have a persoanl feel for dating the younger guy. I dont'seem to think it's about age though. More a physical and gut reaction, feelings of sensitivity and maturity, with enough free spirit to know how to have a good time.

However, I must say I know a man who is in his seventies and dates women younger than me! What's up with that? Just thought I'd throw it out for discussion. She definitely goes for older men.

I also thought it was interesting when Diane Keaton's friend who taught women studies at COlumbia went on her rampage about WHY older men don't go for middle aged women. She basically said that we have lived and learned and are sure of ourselves as opposed to the younger women who can be pushed around. What do you think of that?

I go to musicals alone for the same reason. Research. Maybe Mona Lisa is next. I haven't gone so far cause the previews led me to believe it was a women's lib type theme. Though I'm practically a poster child for women's lib, I was liberated against my will and I'm opposed to it on principle because it's a downgrade from royalty which is what I've always considered myself. All liberation did for me was create a lot more work!!

Twenty five yrs. with the same guy sounds wonderful. I've had 25 yrs., but not with the same guy. Maybe this time.

As to dating younger men, I'm not sure why I always dated younger guys. It wasn't planned. I lied about my age sometimes, but I always confessed on the first date because the math was just too much. (You can't imagine how difficult it is to remember where to subtract and add, like subtract from your age and that of your kids and add to your college years and your date of birth and whew, like any other lie, it can really tire your brain.)

I really enjoyed younger guys. They're just fun. But I'm not sure I connected with them as well as they seemed to connect with me. I even dated a young doctor who was probably far my intellectual superior and we connected on that science/saving lives intellectuasl level that is common among health people. The physical level with a young guy is nice because of the beauty and urgency of it, but for me, the physical/spiritual level on which I am connected with my husband was never there with a younger guy.

I never dated an much older man, but when I was in my thirties an extremely wealthy powerful man in his eighties tried very hard to get me to to marry him. About a week after I gave him an absolute NO, he suddenly droped dead. My friends teased me about bad timing. I could have been a very rich woman.

The younger guys I dated often complained about the shallownes of young women. One used to imitate some young chick whose most thoughtful comment was on mascara or something. Most of the guys I ated were very intelligent and at least said they wanted more depth in a mate. I think the sister in the movie was right about middle aged women having more depth.

Also, I think you're right. Some men (Donald Trump comes to mind) do seem to need to be able to push the women in their lives around and can probably do it better with young women. Those men seem to be very power motivated. Though it doesn't seem to be real power at all. Maybe they have less personal power and need more social power or something.

Either way, I loved he movie. Thanks for recommending it.

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[ January 11, 2004, 01:31 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

I never like older men for exactly those reasons: they were too bossy, set in their ways and into power trips. Also, they always wanted to get married -- usually within the first 15 minutes of the date. Furthermore, when I was in my twenties I was convinced that I'd give an older guy a heart attack.

Are we beginning to sound like those older MEN? You know all those lame excuses for being attracted to those firm young bodies.

Oh lordy I hope not.

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I don't need lame excuses for being attracted to a firm young body; I have good excuses! And until menopause/ Tamoxifen, I was one of them (firm body, that is, not an excuse...)

The (then) latest incarnation of the women's movement which surfaced in the late 1960s-early '70s changed many people's attitudes. Older men, however, all seemed stuck in the traditional dominant male role which never appealed to me.

Meredith, you're right. I guess we were all firm young things not too long ago. And as I think about it, I don't recall older men even making excuses. It's just accepted. Maybe as firm young things we all played into that.

I completely forgot... When I was twenty five I MArried for a while to a man 15 years older. Though I didn't understand it at the time, his power and my youth were probably huge factors. He had a White House Appointment and often told me he liked having a young woman on his arm because it made him appear more powerful. He said it couldn't be a bimbo though cause that would only make him look ridiculous. Right!

I was just excited to be in that crowd. There were lots of parties and important things to do. But when I got a job less than his, but still a great job, he became increasingly jealous and started to abuse me so I left. He still calls occasionally.

Interesting how things look different when we look back from this weird stage we're in having probably lived half our life.

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