Beth, It just takes time to get over it. I remember when my divorce was in the process and everyone would tell me that - I was so impatient to feel better!

You are still very close to the situation. After time passes, most of the hurt will go away and you will stop thinking about it. You have been drained and you need to get filled back up. Your friends and family can help you there....and us here at BWS. After you are filled up again, you will be able to give love from a position of strength.

Daisygirl

My ex paraded his "fling" all over our small town. I was devastated too. It all comes together in the end. Just trust and keep yourself blameless, meaning don't do anything or say anything. Just watch and wait.

Beth he can't answer the WHY question for you because there never is an answer to it. They do it because they want to, they are selfish, weak stupid non-thinking, non-caring jackass's. There is no WHY because there is no reason for it and no excuse either...This too shall pass!

Beth, it is a grieving process. You are on the right track by sharing your frustration and pain. Keep it up and you will get past this.

Hi Beth, humiliation does go deeper than hurt, i think it takes raw courage to even admit to feeling this way. To be able to speak of it, and then walk with dignity takes more strength than many can possibly imagine. Maybe i'm wrong on this, but i think hate is a healthy reaction, which comes from fear. The fear of being hurt, emotionally or physically by someone who has hurt us, or those we love, or whomever. What a hard journey you are on now, may it soon get easier.

Right now I think I am working through some of the feelings I should have already dealt with. I am forcing myself to remember the bad things he did, the times I don't like to think about. It doesn't hurt so much to think about them anymore, and it helps me to put him behind me. I am strong enough now to see the situation as it really was: he was emotionally and financially abusive, he was a cheat and he was a liar. I was miserable with him about 85% of the time. Now, I see that I deserve more than 15% happiness. I've been selling myself short for a long time, but NO MORE!

Update: I finally fixed my work situation that was making me miserable. I prayed for a new job, and I got one! 5 eight hour days a week, no weekends, no holidays! I'm so happy!

hi Beth... you still on the straight and narrow? Hope so, have a good night eh, and a super day tomorrow...

Yea Beth!!!! You're on your way girl. Stay strong. You deserve the best!

Yah Beth!

Changing your work schedule will make a big difference!

Daisygirl

OH YEAHhhhh,

There's that Beth girl, just marchin' up the road! What a long way you've come since we first heard from you. You deserve to be 100% happy and YOU are going to get there!!!!

Just keep listening to these very knowing women. And of course EVERY bit of support you can get from those around you. You have amazed me . You're courageous, honest, and you're 'out there" - those who read your posts are listening to you - watching your progress and undoubtably many will follow your footsteps, so you are not only saving yourself, but others also. Buy some flowers for yourself!!!!!!Well done.

And I so hope you get your home. I would love to hear how you make it yours when the day comes....

Searcher