Hi Suzieq and Moringbelle!

Welcome! You both sound as if you right where you need to be.

Lot's of wonderful women to talk to. We are all full of ideas, fabulous stories, and sound advice.

Welcome to you both!

Teresa

SuzieQ, i think as women we all feel lonely sometimes...I came here looking for some new friends the same as you..I lost my Mom 7 years ago and haven't really felt the same since...and my Father died last February so this is my first Thanksgiving and Christmas as an orphan..I was my parent's baby..and it really shook me up when I realized that i was no longer anyone's baby. Like Dreamer I am an insomniac ...so anytime you feel the need for a friendly chat I'm a great listener..Also..your sister in law could be a great help to you..your brother should be made to see the light..how can he hold something against you from childhood? And something so obviously unrealistic..he is probably embarrassed that it has gone on so long and can't see a way out with his pride intact ..reach out a few more times..it will make you feel better about yourself...Talk to you soon Girlfriend....

Seems to me,

a lot of us girls have lost someone recently. This is a hard place to be - but I've found solace in these women and so will you.

So thanks, Chick, Ladybug, Eagle,Dreamer, NHJackie, Chatty, Dreamer, and every single one of you - Danita, and all - you've given me inspiration and hope.

I'm going to encourage those of you who had loving parents. What wonderful memories you must have. My parents are still alive and we just aren't close. I talk to them on the phone about once a month but have to be careful because my mother can be so insulting and I end up gently ending the conversation.

Be blessed that you have beautiful thoughts of those who have passed. At this point, I'm not sure what I'll feel when mine pass away.

I'm convinced (though many will disagree) that when our loved ones die, they find little ways to console us. I would definitely take seeing that license plate as a little sign of his lingering presence and love for you.

With us, after Mom died, we were walking across the parking lot at the funeral home. Suddenly a flock of about 20 white seagulls started circling in the sky right above us. We had to stop and watch as they seemed to dance this most amazing and beautiful dance for us. I'm the only "religious" one in the family, but all of us just knew it was a sign of Mom's love for us...she had this profound commitment to feeding the birds, and for as long as any of us knew her, she always put up clean birdhouses, bird baths and made sure there was enough food for them through the winter months.

Whatever other people might say about it being mere coincidence, I choose to take these little signs of presence to heart and let them bring me comfort and consolation.

[ November 16, 2005, 12:04 PM: Message edited by: Eagle Heart ]

Dianne, my mom can be very insulting too and at one point we went about five years without speaking. You know why. I've had to learn to just keep quiet (hard to do for those of you who know me).

It seems the brother needs some counseling to learn to let go of his unfounded resentment.

Many families go through this but we learn that life is to short to hold grudges. In some cases though keeping a distance is necessary for those who keep getting hurt and have tried to make it better. There is, after all, so much one can do and if it still doesn't work then you have to throw in the towel.

As for my brothers, my mom said it well, "he needs you and you need him."

I read these posts and just cannot find the right words to comment. Know that I pray for you and your family members to get along and love each other...mine included.
chick

My mother can be very insulting, too. She can say such hurtful things, and that is part of the reason we moved here right before my Dad died almost 2 years ago. I don't 'talk back' to my mother, we don't argue (though I have told her she's hurt my feelings; she says I'm thin-skinned...) Now I call her nearly every evening to see how she's doing; if she insults me I generally don't call her for a day - but I don't understand how people can burn bridges with family members. I think your brother will come around. I hope so. I am an only child (former child, that is!)

I consider my sister, husband, childrn and grandchildren my family. I tend to gravitate towards those who care and are loving, not rude and insulting. Family or not.

suzie and morning, you are taking a step in the right direction by coming here and sharing your stories. My prayer is that you will continue to reach out to the women in here and a few in person too.

I am one of those women who just puts herself out there. I am forever calling family and friends and organizing get-togethers. I love people. I love relationships. I have another friend who is the same way. The funny thing is that any time we plan something, or suggest soemthing, people are interested. We have often spoken about what our lives would be like if we sat back and waited for others to plan and organize. Who knows? Maybe we'd be sitting around feeling lonely. I guess I'm just sharing this because you mention loneliness in this post, and you see all the other women who shared their loneliness? Keep putting yourself out there. If you don't want to be lonely, keep taking baby steps to create opportunities to gather with others.

I don't intend to sound preachy. I hope you don't take it that way.