Boy Dots, those two statments are filled with meaning. I grew up with "Be nice or go to hell" and only later learned "Be nice because God is love and treating others with love is what I'm called to do."

I once had a friend who said his child rearing technique consisted of "A threat quickly followed by a bribe." Seems that is God's technique too. We are threatened with hell and bribed with love.

Choosing is a no brainer.
smile

I had the Catholic principals drilled into my head for 12 years during school and then about 5 more as an adult. I dropped out for many years finding what I was taught made no sense to me. My sons were no religion. I told them they could attend any church they wanted to. That I believed in God but he was a merciful God not a mean rathful God. Just in the past few years I discovered and became a Born Again Christian and I attend Church regularily. My son David and Wendy all by themselves discovered the Church and have become devout church goers themselves, same faith too. It is wonderful discussing God and the Bible with them. God has a plan for us all and I believe we will end up wherever he wants us to be....

It's nice to have so many opinions about a child's choosing to search out a different spirituality. My nephew tends to whine about going to church and my brother gets upset that the children today are growing up with so many influences, it's almost impossible to keep them from them. The more my brother fights it though, the more my nephew will resent him later. My sister in-law told me that she's leaning more toward just to loving them for who they are and guiding them gently toward the lord is the best. I tend to agree, maybe it's a woman thing. Instead of getting so upset, she's able to stay calm and remain in a healthy relationship with him and God at the same time.

Coffeemom,

I have two teens - 16 and 13, and in the last year - they've changed their minds about God and church.

It has been very hard for me - I feel like I don't fit in with the "christian community" as a mother...my kids aren't the perfect children attending Sunday school.

I've decided to let go and trust God. I can't stand fighting to drag them to church anymore. I need to go to church for me. And having angry children beside me is distracting and painful!

I can't tell you how many moms I've talked to who have gotten to the other side, and their children are NORMAL, product children who love God.

I think it's just important to let them be who they are, and discover their own path.

Keep the faith sister..this two shall pass!

Danita

Coffeemom: You're not alone in your concern.

God Gave us the ability to choose. Just as a good parent, he tells us what we can expect if we choose the right path, and what to expect should we choose the opposite. But he doesn't make us go in the direction he hopes we'd choose. That is up to us.

If you did a survey, the number of youth rebelling against religion might surprise us .

Just as you can't be forced to love someone, you can't be forced to love God.

God wants us to obey him out of love, not out of fear: "If you love me, keep my commandments." (John 14:15)

I know many parents in the same boat, including myself. I have 2 young men who don't go to church but still have the same values. I have one who still goes to church regularly.

I continue to pray for each of them and above all, love them unconditionally. I try not to preach to them, although I still invite them now and then... (you never know when they'll accept the invitation, right?

I also know of many cases where youth want nothing to do with "church" because of the bad example other christians (and this may or may not include their own relatives) have set.

To me it is more important that they see Jesus in me. I now have to wait and accept their decision. I don't give up hope. I trust the promises of the Lord will come true sooner of later:) .

I want to add something else here. Although I left the church, I never abandoned my belief in Jesus. I think that Christians need to understand that Jesus came to the world, not just to those who call themselves Christian. There are plenty of people who either left the church or never joined any church who have a relationship with Jesus.

Song and DJ, you both make excellent points. Thanks for your insight. I've spoken your words to others in the past, but needed to hear them for myself now.

I'm heading to the Faith/Religion Forum to share my persoanl dilemna. I hope you'll join me there. The topic is Church funk...

My kids are 32, 26 and 22 and they all accepted the Lord at a young age and don't go to church anymore.. I too am concerned but keep telling myself they'll come back to it someday.. I pray!!!
We all need to pray for them more.. me included...

My teenager made an interesting point about church attendance the other day....

She said, "if going to church makes you a christian...does going to the garage make you a car?"

Insightful, huh?

Danita