Smile and Eagle....wise words of advice for our Meredith - and Meredith, I hope we helped you feel better about sticking to your guns with your essay and will make sure it's YOUR voice it carries!

When I am asked for a critique I tell the writer if I like the piece and why and then make a few suggestions about one sentence or another or phrase or another but have not nor will I ever try to make a story my ideaof what it should be. To me that would be like being invited over for a bar-be-que and washing off the home-made sauce the hostess whipped up, then taking my own from my purse and slathering it on the meat. Its just plain rude. Stay with your heart, you can't go wrong.

[ September 16, 2005, 09:17 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

Dear Miss M, you received some good feedback here. I like this from Smile : "Maybe your critique group needs to paint their critiques to match your essay instead of asking you to paint your essay to match their critique." When I was at the Vermont College post-graduate writers conference, we'd break into our small groups each day and critique one anothers' manuscripts. There was one member of our group who did not have any writing experience. She got into the conference based on a manuscript in progress. During each critique, she would say, "I'd like to hear more about this aspect. I'd like you to flesh this out. I'd like to see this, that and the other thing." It got irritating because her comments were about her and what she wanted, and not about the vision of the writer. Also, in Toastmasters, a member evaluates another members speech. I did a speech on "Journal Writing: What is it? What are the benefits?" I mentioned blog pages because it is a current (albeit loose) form of journal writing. The evaluator of my speech said, "I would have liked to have heard more about blog pages." Well, my speech was not about blog pages. It was about journal writing, of which blog pages is just one example. I told him, "Well, then, I'll make my next speech about blog pages." Today, a young man gave an ice breaker speech titled "The best year of my life" in which he mentioned being a college grad, a ski bum, a bi-coastal resident, and a trip to Africa. The evaluator said, "Great speech, but I would like to hear more about Africa." Wouldn't we all? That was NOT what his speech was about. So, my point is to stick to your vision. You are the writer. You own the piece. I hope the next critique they stick to what they are given and not what they want. Love and Light, Lynn

Meredith--
I echo what everyone else said. It sounds like you're feeling depressed about what was said because it isn't right. I have a critique group I love and take their comments to heart. But, when they suggest something that doesn't feel right to me I sit on it for a day or so and then look again to see if it still doesn't feel right or if I was trying to hang onto something I shouldn't. My first instinct is usually right. And they've never tried to change something that big in one of my pieces. You're the one who knows what your piece is about. Your writing just in your posts, is very clear and wonderful to read. Is it possible to remind them of what you're really looking for in a critique: i.e. how well you've brought your vision across, not how they would like to change that vision?

Dream of the Circle of Women
by Dahti Blanchard
published May 2004 by Spilled Candy Books
visit: www.dahtiblanchard.com

Thanks everyone for your kind words and support.

Yeah, it's majorly depressing to hear "the vision is nice, but the other stuff is more interesting..."

I worked really really hard on this, especially since it veers somewhat from my usual style. I don't want everything I write to sound the same. I don't want to continually write the same essay over and over, with minor detail changes.

Part of the problem may be that the group "knows" my voice, and this piece is not written in that same voice. What bothers me is that all 6 people had the same reaction: stick to your strong points. That's like telling an athlete to exercise only their strongest muscle.

Usually I get home from critique and am excited about making changes for the better. However, the thought of changing my vision -- changing the whole focus of the piece -- just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I'm thinking I need to clean up the technical stuff (not too much, really) and then send it to a few more friends to critique (like BWS critique group for starters ) and specifically say: this is my vision. This is what I want to do. How do I go THERE? -- because if no one in the group got it, maybe there's something I need to add or change towards THAT end.

Although I hate to tell people what to look for before they read the piece, because that influences them.

Meredith:
As a writer you are in control or your piece. You have the power to choose to follow or not the sugestions given by critiques. Only you know what your goal is.

If you were writing for a specific publication, there you'd be bound by their guidelines and vision. I trust that is not the case with this piece.

Like you mentioned, since your critique group knows your voice, they were probably not ready for the different style you're attempting to develop.

You know your voice, your story, your goal. You decide where to go with it and what changes to make without affecting the outcome or changing your vision.

A freelance writer writes to satisfy him/herself. Don't give up. You decide!

Meredith,
I don't have anything to add that has already been said. I agree with the posts on this topic. I just want to reiterate that you know your writing, and you know what you want to accomplish. Follow that instinct.
I used to send another writer (now former friend) my work, but he would edit the life out of it, suggesting changes that suited him. I no longer send him my work.
Lynn,
Thanks for sharing your experience. It reminds me of my own role when I'm giving critiques.
Marie

Ms M, I'm with the others. When I first started sharing my work, it was ALL agony and hurt feelings. Then I experienced how helpful thoughtful critiquing (not "criticism") can be. I worked for 3 years with a small critiquing group led by a writing teacher. We came to know each other so well that it was very easy to take what we liked and what was useful and leave the rest.

I welcome all forms of comment...even from those who haven't learned how to be polite! For example, when I sent my novel to the first POD publisher and paid for a review, I received a scathing response. I went to another publisher but I still paid attention to his (her?) comments and took out 7,000 unnecessary words. But when my novel is a success, I'm writing that person the "big mistake, huge mistake" letter (a la Pretty Woman)!

Sometimes for fun, I'll even take a suggestion for a huge change and just try it out...see if "I" think it's better that way. All sorts of ways to skin a cat (oops...sorry animal lovers!), Karen

Thanks again Ladies. I never feel obligated to follow critique comments, especially the ones that are contradictory haha.

It was just a particularly depressing & frustrating moment. And yes, I always write for myself first, and then only later decide whether/where to shop it out.

Meredith,
A very wise teacher once told me to "Write to express, not to impress."

For me, writing to impress constricts creativity. Creativity seems to have a memory kind of like body memory. When a pitcher throws his arm out, his conscious mind forgets the pain, but his body remembers. And from the time of the injury forward, without his conscious control, his body avoids that pain so his pitching is affected. I think the same principle applies to creativity.

The creative brain is weak because it is less exercised than the logical brain so it is easily injured. And when an injury occurs, without permission, the brain avoids incurring the pain again by becoming less creative.

Be careful that your critique group does not inflict pain that will constrict your creativity.

We all love your work and want to protect it-and you.
smile