Sigrid, I'm in remission for 6 years and doing fine.

I attend a writing critique group, 8-10 people, every Thursday. It's "our turn" about once a month. My book is a collection of essays and poetry, much of which was written at the time I was going through treatment. Last week I got to read, and all in attendance knew my story except for one new guy. When it was his turn to critique me, he said, "No offense, but I hate stories about sick people."

You could hear the jaws drop.

Not one to miss a beat, I said, "Well, I guess you won't be buying my book then!"

The point is, whatever you write, someone won't like it. Don't worry about pleasing everybody, because you can't. Worry about your craft, your story, your creativity, your presentation, etc. If you try to make your book all things for all people, you'll end up with gray nothing.

Dear Speaker Mom,

I guess my sense of humor got lost on the printed page. I wasn't really worried about people not reading my posts. I was just making a joke. I contribute to about five different forums, so I could never keep up with everybody else's posts :-)

Bad language doesn't bother me unless it's there for shock value and seems to be irrelevant to the plot. But I can understand that you would have had enough of that by teaching high school! LOL.

Best, Sigrid

Dannye,

Yes, I agree with everything that you said except that I'm not spiritual. The question is very interesting.

For many years, I was active in the women's movement. I had to ask myself if I planned to boycott music that was sexist or was written by someone who had just been arrested for beating his wife. Since I am an avid fan of hard rock, I would never have had a music collection at all if I had avoided sexist material.

I view reading the same way. I know some Catholics and Christians who will not read books with four letter words or go to movies that use profanity. Profanity seems to be everywhere! I just can't picture boycotting it, but of course, that is a personal choice.

Best, Sigrid

Evie -That's the million-dollar question. I just reposted it on another Lulu forum... So glad that your book is doing well at church. WTG! Sigrid

What a great question! I've been lurking in this discussion. My own answer is...I read whatever interests me.
This question reminded me of an incident that occurred when we first moved where I live now and joined the church in town. The Pastor came to visit us, and he noticed my book shelves. He pointed out my John Updike collection. I blushed, then he said, Oh, I like to read him, too. We had a good laugh and then discussed our favorite authors.
My Uncle was a Lutheran pastor as well, but I never recalled him reading anything except Christian related materials. Perhaps he just didn't have the time for anything else.
We almost sent our kids to a Christian school. At the time, we lived in a city, and the schools weren't safe. We ended up not sending the kids to a Christian school, and I homeschooled until we could move to an area where the public schools were safer. I'm upset about the book banning that is going on in schools. I also observed that in the Christian schools, most of the classics I had read in school would not be taught at all because of their secular themes. For me, literature is history.
I hope I wasn't out of line in my response.
Marie

Hi Sigrid, this is an interesting topic you have initiated. I consider myself spiritual, but that has nothing to do with how I write a book. It has a lot to do with what I read because I tend to read non-fiction. As for writing about drug addicts, you would be correct in saying that swearing is a part of the culture. But I chose to depict drug addicts I knew (in Beyond the...) without using their swearing because, as the author, I did not want to offend anyone! One of the characters is my cousin Annie, who died an unrehabilitated alcoholic and drug addict. In our "real" lives she could not compose a sentence without swearing. Yet, in the book, I do not repeat a single curse word she used. I didn't think it was necessary. Hmm, makes me wonder if I cheated her of her true character? I just read Sting's autobiography "Broken Music." He is a heck of a writer.. and told his entire story of rock and roll with very few swear words. The ones he used were in context. He is much more spiritual than I would have assumed, had I considered assuming! Love and Light, Lynn

Meredith,

So glad to hear that you're in remission. What a relief. Also a good sign that you passed the five-year mark.

Can't believe that guy said that! But I understand your point. Once I gave a speech analyzing one of the presidential debates and one of my listeners said that she hated politics, so she found my speech boring! We definitely can't please all of the people all of the time, and there is no point in trying.

Best, Sigrid

Marie,

I think that your response was great and I always love hearing from people who have been lurking. Updike is a classic writer. Think of how much we would miss if we bypassed Joyce Carol Oates or DH Lawrence because they address controversial issues.

Agreed that the whole notion of book banning in high schools is very scary! I hope to read more of your posts.

Best, Sigrid

Lynn, How is our author of the month? Hope that doesn't go to your head. LOL. Actually, let it go to your head for a few weeks at least!

Seriously, I was so sorry to hear about your cousin. How tragic. But it does sound to me that your spirituality affects both the material that you choose to read and the way in which you choose to write. After all, you said that you altered her vocabulary and that you think Sting is more spiritual because he doesn't swear (I inferred that from what you said.)

I don't know. Swearing is a funny thing. I often wonder who deemed all those words to be "bad" in the first place. They're just words. I grew up in New Jersey and everyone I knew swore except for the parents. I've been living in Ontario for 15 years and most of the people that I know don't swear with the exception of certain groups. But I swear all the time -- I'm just very conscious of what I say and where I say it.

There are certain words that I use with friends but I would never use in public. But when it gets down to writing, I'm looking for realistic dialogue and concise, accurate terms. Sometimes a four letter word is the ONLY word that works in order to convey anger or emphasis. But I have ambivalence about using them because I also don't want to offend people. However, I have decided to go with my gut feeling, which is that I want to create characters that feel like real people to me.

Always nice talking to you, Sigrid

Sigrid, no, no, no, I wasn't saying that Sting is more spiritual because he doesn't swear! That's 2 different things. Who am I to judge who is spiritual? I was just saying that he seemed more spiritual than what I would have assumed. I was stereotyping rock stars in general. Sting wrote a beautiful memoir, and his love for the earth and relationships indicated to me a spiritual part of his personality. You can read a quote of his on the featured author forum. Sigrid, nothing goes to my head. I am so low in self-esteem that even today I told myself that "I hope I don't blow it" It being the featured author. Sigrid, I grew up in New Jersey and Pennsylvania. The swear words I learned came from my father and my mother. Last week, when I was visiting her, I said something pissed me off. She said, "Don't say that." I said it was a common expression, used on TV. My step father said, "It's common all right. Ladies don't use that phrase." Girlfriends, I am 51, and they are telling me what to say! Yes, Sigrid, the bottom line is that "spirituality" affects what I read, but that is because I am always learning, and could stand to be a bit more spiritual. You can go to my blog page via my site and read my review of The Purpose Driven Life. I agree: go with your gut. If it sounds right in your heart and head, and swearing works in contect, go for it. If I had Beyond the Tears to write over again, I would depict my cousin the way she was. People said she could "swear like a sailor." I never understood that because the only sailor I knew as a child was Popeye, the Sailor Man. Love and Light, Lynn