I probably know what your answers will say but here goes anyway! I'm working on a project. I might add, this project has already been shown great interest by a very big production company. I also feel in my heart it will be a success.

The problem: The person who is supposed to be helping me with the project and who I can't really do without her as it's about her life, somehow can't commit. I might add that she has a problem committing to anything. She's wonderful, loving, sweet, you name it...I love her, but she seems to be more excited talking about projects than really or actually doing them! We were supposed to work together this morning and the minute the phone rang, I knew it would be her calling to cancel, which it was.

I don't want to be upset. I don't want to upset her. I also don't want to change her life and make her try and complete something when she usually doesn't. We've kind of-sort-of had a conversation about this before and she feels bad. I mean, she's supposed to come to my house just to visit and never shows up. Completely forgets! Apologizes, etc. and really, I understand. It's just that now, this project is waiting and I'm not sure how to proceed.

Help?

Dianne, can you be honest with her? Tell her how important this project is to you, and what a success you believe it will be. Is there a way to break down the number of hours you'll need her to get it accomplished and ask her to make a schedule with you? Can you go to her?

Does she have to use her real name?

Dianne, you said she doesn't finish projects? Some people just don't have it in them to complete a project. They are really good at planning and starting but can't follow through to the end. Sometimes it's because it takes too long and they don't have the attention span to wait.

I was thinking that instead of making it one big project, you could break the tasks down into "mini" projects. These would give both you and her many smaller goals to accomplish.

I know it's always easier to give advice, especially for situations we're not involved in. I hope that you find a solution and are able to work with your friend.

I wonder if it's possible to go to her?

Oh my word. She did it again! Was supposed to come over Friday afternoon and didn't. Didn't call, nothing. I had to start laughing, I was so frustrated! I haven't heard from her since.

Honestly, I think she just completely forgot. I know she had an appt. with a famous singer and I'm sure that distracted her. I'm beginning to think that maybe it's the idea of the projects that excite her but not the actual doing them. Maybe she's ADD or something. I love her to death but this is so....grrrr. Just...I don't know. Maddening?

I was thinking of talking with her and also thinking of just trying to go ahead without her input for now. Kind of difficult to do tho. I don't know. Gads. What a mind bender.

All of you have good points. I did try the small task thing. Asked for a short outline to just finish the first part of the project. She sent me a bio. That doesn't help me at all. I know without a doubt, this project will be a huge success. I don't get these feelings very often. Maybe I need to tell her this is my dream too, not just about her dream and I can't do it without her. I don't know. I don't want to do anything to hurt this relationship because I love her to death!

Queen, I'm not sure what you mean about using her real name.

As most of you suggested, I need to go to her. Maybe I should tell her we'll put it off until after the holidays. Don't know what else to do.

[ December 06, 2004, 11:06 PM: Message edited by: Dianne ]

Now, that I reread your e-mail, I am too .

I'd love to hear how it all works out.

Diann I'm not sure what this project is but with all your contacts and all the women you know through your site couldn't she just be small part of the project, open it up to others with similar stories and concentrate on those that seem to be really serious about doing a project. I know shes your friend and you love her to death BUT she seems very inconsiderate to me and a bit scatter rained as well. Good luck with whatever you decide...