I've been in a poetry critique group for years. Lately, the group has dwindled to 3 or 4 of us. I also meet privately with two women formerly of the group. I find the private critiques to be very worthwhile.

The group, on the other hand, hovers between frustrating and useless. Last month's meeting, Woman1 brought in a piece that she was working on until 5 minutes before the group met. She said "it isn't really finished but..." Some meetings she hasn't even xeroxed it yet. Other times, she xeroxes her illegible handwriting ("Didn't have time to type.") However, she often has valuable comments on my work; she just is never ready to be critiqued.

Guy1 is always ready but his work is simplistic and not terribly good. His critique of my work? "this is a poem about depression. You shouldn't be depressed." :which is an entire sentence longer than he usually says.

Guy2 didn't have a poem this month, but he offered to critique the others. His "critique" consisted of a 6-line poem that he wrote about my piece, on my poem copy. He then spent 5 minutes taking digital pictures of his poem.

I just need to vent.

I cancelled this month's meeting because I'm too busy. I want to cancel next month's too. If I don't show up, no one shows up. I know I'm not responsible for playing Den Mother to this group of animal crackers, but I almost feel bad for dumping them. Almost.

Maybe we'll meet once in January, and then I'll officially quit.

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In the mean time, I've been introduced to a weekly writers' critique group of anything-but-poetry. I've gone twice and many of the comments have been valuable (except for the woman who suggested I turn my 300-word essay into a novel. (I told her, "You write it. I have no desire to write a novel." But she meant well.)

If I go to this group every 2 or 3 weeks, that leaves no time for the Dysfunctional Poetry Triplets. I've made my decision, but I still feel bad about hosing the other group.

Meredith,
You shouldn't feel bad about anything. You need to do what is good for you, and no one else!
If that group is no longer helpful to you (or just a plain old waste of your precious time) then by all means move on and never look back. You have too much to offer the world with your poetry and beautiful jewelry to spend even a moment worrying about this.
I'd say Good-bye and Good riddence!

I'm going with TVC on this one Ms M...your time is so valuable, why would you spend it babysitting these people? Move on...It doesn't sound like any of them are serious enough about honing their craft.

JJ

As I read your descriptions of the members of your group, my first thought was, "Boy there's some unique characters." My second thought was, "Good grief, they sound like my own critique group." My third thought was, "They sound like every critique group I've ever been in." Then I thought, "I've probably been those characters at times."

My current critique group which I formed about 12 years ago is smart, helpful, weird, self centered, jealous, undisciplined, and absolutely spectacular. Best of all, we love each other. And even when we selfishly believe we are the ones who should have won the prize or gotten published, we help each other.
We've all held and hold very responsible jobs and been very well organized all of our lives. Our writing is our one total rebellion.
A while back a new member insisted everyone bring a specific number of copies and that we all print in 12 point Times New Roman. Well that's a minor thing, but it's a rule and the claws came out. Even the most copied, best printed, and most well organized went berserk. No one was willing to submit to a rule.
We ranted then concluded that our only rule is that there are no rules. The guy is still with us and he's beginning to focus on his writing rather than rules.

I believe I learn from myself as well as from others in my critique group. The meetings give me a deadline and somehow reading my work aloud before the group shows up my defects and imspires me to improve.

Meredith, I think you must do what you have to do to protect your art, but your poetry and jewelry are so beautiful and your spirit is so strong, I doubt anyone or any group could harm it.

smile

Meredith, I can relate to your guilt about dropping the group. You're a leader and if you drop out they are nowhere.

Maybe they aren't organized because they are only half interested. You may be doing them a favor?

Boy that sounds harsh, but it might be true.

I guess it's a time/value issue. The two guys are very nice people but dead weight in a critique situation. The woman would be good to meet with privately IF and ONLY IF she has a finished, polished poem. It's frustrating to hear all her excuses. Maybe I should put the burden on her? as in "Call me when your next poem is ready."

I occasionally meet with these people socially, to listen to musicians at a local coffee house. I consider two out of the three to be friends, and that's what makes this harder. I don't want to hurt anyone, but my time is too damn precious.

I've already emailed them that I can't meet before Christmas.

And thanks everyone for your support.

Update:

I've gone to the new writers' (non-poetry) critique group three times now and find the input really valuable, so I intend to continue. Because members come from a variety of writing backgrounds, their perspective is refreshing.

I'll meet with the poetry group again after my kamikaze work schedule is through. The woman in the group has told me that she already bought me a Hanukkah present, so I guess I'm being bribed.

MEredith, you are so conscientious! I love it.

It amazes me that no matter what kind of a group one joins there always seems to be the leader and the followers. The Duck and the ducklings, the hen and the chicks. You dear Meredith are so strong in your nurturing nature that you are the leader and the others are happy and content to follow. Unfortunately life is to short and when someone or something is no longer worth messing with, move on. I would definitely tell that women to call you when she has something to contribute. As far as the friends you've made, keep them as friends and possibly turn them on to this new group....Hope it all works out.

I went to the poetry critique last night thinking this would be the last one.

The boring guy with nothing to say was in the coffee shop but had no poems this week and didn't join in. Yay!

The flaky guy with the camera showed up an hour late, stood there for 2 minutes and then left because no one was paying attention to him.

The other woman in the group brought me several Hanukkah gifts, really nice stuff: a pen that she had engraved "Meredith Laskow, Poet Laureate"; a good (defined as large spaces) 2005 day planner; and a silk scarf which she had tie-dyed herself. She brought two poems: one good one, and one mess which she had just finished. I told her how bad it was too.

At the end of the group she asked when we'd be meeting again. I said "Call me when you have finished poems that are as good as you can get them, typed and copied and not one minute before. I really shouldn't have to plough sloppy stuff that isn't finished yet."

So now the burden is on her, to decide if she wants to keep doing this. We'll see what happens.