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#34608 - 08/14/06 11:20 AM Re: Reclusiveness [Re: 49erDonna]
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
I don't know if reclusiveness comes with age or not, but I know that I too have grown to prefer my solitude. I used to be very active at work, volunteer activities, church groups and some social events. Now I'm not involved in anything at all. I think there's a balance somewhere in the middle, but the reality right now is that I'm happy where I'm at so I feel no need to explore outside of myself for that balance!

Which is really nice to be able to say. Because when I first arrived on this site, I was intolerably lonely and dangerously reclusive. I was housebound by a combination of depression, anxiety, panic attacks, chronic fatigue and complete lack of social motivation. NOW, a year and a half later, I'm still in my house, still not getting out much, but now it's my choice, not made out of fear or despair, but out of enjoyment of my solitude and lifestyle. Now I CAN go out when I want to, and go anywhere I want to, and I do...but my preference is still to stay home and putter around doing housework, baking, and most of all, chatting here.

This place has made such an enormous difference in my life. It has helped me literally spread my wings and fly - only to find that the place I most want to be is right here in my own home where I've been all this time. Only now, I'm nesting and roosting instead of withering and cowering. I like that difference!
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)

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#34609 - 08/25/06 08:23 AM Re: Reclusiveness [Re: Eagle Heart]
Mountain Ash Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 3027
Can I ask others.....is there a "stage" when we all like a stay at home time. I love company and visiting places.Yet I have such contentment here.Like you Eagle Heart I browse but also do some writing which I previously has less time to do.
At work for a year I actually worked juggling three post within a college.So perhaps I am in a calm place since retiral.
Mountain Ash

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#34610 - 08/25/06 09:32 AM Re: Reclusiveness [Re: Princess Lenora]
Jane_Carroll Offline
member

Registered: 07/06/06
Posts: 1521
Loc: Alabama
I find that I get more and more comfortable being with my own thoughts as I get older. I welcome the silence of days spent writing after years of nursing and child rearing. I do get out and I enjoy that as well...I just don't require it like I used to. I've always enjoyed my own space and I'm just basking in it.

Interestingly, I used to have a difficult time visiting in someone's home for more than one night. Now that I have more space on a daily basis I am able to visit much easier.

In fact I've heard some of my hosts remarking about "fish...after 3 days" What does that mean?
_________________________
Jane Carroll

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#34611 - 08/25/06 09:51 AM Re: Reclusiveness [Re: Jane_Carroll]
Dancing Dolphin Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/06
Posts: 2529
Loc: Southern California
Ah, Jane, when you hear that comment, you need to hop a plane to California and stay at my house for a few days. Bring JJ with you - we'll have fun!

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#34612 - 08/25/06 01:01 PM Re: Reclusiveness [Re: Dancing Dolphin]
Mountain Ash Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 3027
Picked a book from my shelf this afternoon to read as I rest after a minor op.In in Dorothy Rowe talks about intraverts and extraverts.How underneath we may the opposite from what the world(and how have kidded ourselves) sees us. I find things like re reading a book reminds me of what I have read and also connects with a current thought.
So reclussivness may show what we are allowed to be when we are true boomers.Have we come of age....?
Mountain Ash

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#34614 - 08/25/06 03:28 PM Re: Reclusiveness [Re: ]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
I could be a hermit. Big time. I love my solitude. I also love my friends and family and LOVE seeing them. But as much as it dismays my girlfriends who are social butterflys, I would rather watch a good movie, read a book, or sit under a tree than go clubing or join a crowd for some activity.

I like my own company. There's no pressure to be, no interruptions, no judgements, and I always win the arguments.

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#34615 - 08/25/06 06:26 PM Re: Reclusiveness [Re: jawjaw]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Anne, I like the way you give into it. It makes sense, especially if it's only for one week. You're a wise woman.
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com


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#34616 - 08/25/06 10:58 PM Re: Reclusiveness
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
My moods change from week to week, heck sometimes from day to day. I think one must like themselves and be able to be happy alone if necessary.
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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#34618 - 08/26/06 04:44 PM Re: Reclusiveness [Re: ]
dejavu Offline
journeyman

Registered: 08/16/06
Posts: 319
I do enjoy my time at home, and DON'T enjoy crowds, but sometimes I also worry about becoming too reclusive. I saw both my parents and my grandmother reach the point where they never wanted to go anywhere unless it was a family thing and I see myself doing that now ONLY EVEN YOUNGER.

I don't want to become this reclusive this young (I"m in my early fifties). I worry about becoming too isolated later and about myself becoming too dependent on my kids for a social life.

I think I need to push myself a bit to call a girlfriend or two and go out to lunch or something on a regular basis. Maybe take a crafts class, do some kind of volunteer work, etc., yet I also find myself resistant to it, and I wonder, am I reclusive just because it's so easy and risk-free? And is that a good thing or a bad thing? Am I selling myself short?
_________________________
My website http://www.carolynagosta.com

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#34619 - 08/26/06 06:48 PM Re: Reclusiveness [Re: dejavu]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
If there are no health concerns to keep you tied to the home then by all means get out and meet people and do things. I enjoyed my solitude too much, but would go insane these days without human contact. I love my writers group and the mental challenges it offers me. I love to laugh with friends over tea or a game of cards. I enjoy church functions. There is a lot to do out there. I use to be reclusive to a fault because I worked at home on the phone. I edit now at home, but I get out to meet the authors and a motivational speaker friend of mine told me once awhile back. When you are feeling too lazy to get dressed or put on make-up, whatever and get out of the house, just imagine the people too sick to leave their beds let alone their homes and consider yourself lucky you can. Ever since then I make it a point to do one new thing each week, meet at least one new person. It works well for me and has put an end to my reclusiveness. I'll tell you how bad I got, I have a 2002 Hyundai I bought off the showroom floor in 2002 and it only has 5136 miles on it today, it still smells like a new car. Now thats just ridiculous.


Edited by chatty lady (08/26/06 06:53 PM)
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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