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#34608 - 08/14/06 11:20 AM
Re: Reclusiveness
[Re: 49erDonna]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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I don't know if reclusiveness comes with age or not, but I know that I too have grown to prefer my solitude. I used to be very active at work, volunteer activities, church groups and some social events. Now I'm not involved in anything at all. I think there's a balance somewhere in the middle, but the reality right now is that I'm happy where I'm at so I feel no need to explore outside of myself for that balance!
Which is really nice to be able to say. Because when I first arrived on this site, I was intolerably lonely and dangerously reclusive. I was housebound by a combination of depression, anxiety, panic attacks, chronic fatigue and complete lack of social motivation. NOW, a year and a half later, I'm still in my house, still not getting out much, but now it's my choice, not made out of fear or despair, but out of enjoyment of my solitude and lifestyle. Now I CAN go out when I want to, and go anywhere I want to, and I do...but my preference is still to stay home and putter around doing housework, baking, and most of all, chatting here.
This place has made such an enormous difference in my life. It has helped me literally spread my wings and fly - only to find that the place I most want to be is right here in my own home where I've been all this time. Only now, I'm nesting and roosting instead of withering and cowering. I like that difference!
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#34609 - 08/25/06 08:23 AM
Re: Reclusiveness
[Re: Eagle Heart]
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Member
Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 3027
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Can I ask others.....is there a "stage" when we all like a stay at home time. I love company and visiting places.Yet I have such contentment here.Like you Eagle Heart I browse but also do some writing which I previously has less time to do. At work for a year I actually worked juggling three post within a college.So perhaps I am in a calm place since retiral. Mountain Ash
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#34610 - 08/25/06 09:32 AM
Re: Reclusiveness
[Re: Princess Lenora]
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member
Registered: 07/06/06
Posts: 1521
Loc: Alabama
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I find that I get more and more comfortable being with my own thoughts as I get older. I welcome the silence of days spent writing after years of nursing and child rearing. I do get out and I enjoy that as well...I just don't require it like I used to. I've always enjoyed my own space and I'm just basking in it. Interestingly, I used to have a difficult time visiting in someone's home for more than one night. Now that I have more space on a daily basis I am able to visit much easier. In fact I've heard some of my hosts remarking about "fish...after 3 days" What does that mean?
_________________________
Jane Carroll
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#34612 - 08/25/06 01:01 PM
Re: Reclusiveness
[Re: Dancing Dolphin]
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Member
Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 3027
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Picked a book from my shelf this afternoon to read as I rest after a minor op.In in Dorothy Rowe talks about intraverts and extraverts.How underneath we may the opposite from what the world(and how have kidded ourselves) sees us. I find things like re reading a book reminds me of what I have read and also connects with a current thought. So reclussivness may show what we are allowed to be when we are true boomers.Have we come of age....? Mountain Ash
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#34618 - 08/26/06 04:44 PM
Re: Reclusiveness
[Re: ]
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journeyman
Registered: 08/16/06
Posts: 319
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I do enjoy my time at home, and DON'T enjoy crowds, but sometimes I also worry about becoming too reclusive. I saw both my parents and my grandmother reach the point where they never wanted to go anywhere unless it was a family thing and I see myself doing that now ONLY EVEN YOUNGER.
I don't want to become this reclusive this young (I"m in my early fifties). I worry about becoming too isolated later and about myself becoming too dependent on my kids for a social life.
I think I need to push myself a bit to call a girlfriend or two and go out to lunch or something on a regular basis. Maybe take a crafts class, do some kind of volunteer work, etc., yet I also find myself resistant to it, and I wonder, am I reclusive just because it's so easy and risk-free? And is that a good thing or a bad thing? Am I selling myself short?
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